Deja Vu
by TC2
Summary: Reliving the same day may be all fun and games for awhile but what happens when that hope of no tomorrow finally sinks in for Xander?
1. Default Chapter

Title: Deja vu  
Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to UPN, Joss, etc....  
Distribution: Yeah! like you'd want this.   
Summary: Xander gets a feeling of Deja vu.   
Setting: Season 5, right before I was Made to Love you.  
Feedback: Actually what I need is some dental insurance so that it won't cost me my fic writing hands to get my Wisdom teeth pulled, but I'll accept feedback.  
Rating: PG-13   
  
  
  
Part 1  
  
  
  
Saturday Feb 17, 2001  
Sunnydale Mall  
Around 1:00 P.M.  
  
  
  
"What do you think?" Willow said holding up a pair of black shoes.  
  
"Huh." Xander said with his back turned.  
  
"Xander." Willow said a little annoyed.  
  
"What do you think?" Willow asked again as he turned around with a pair of silk, red stockings in his hands.  
  
To Willow's look, Xander quickly threw the stockings behind him.  
  
"Red, Huh."  
  
"Uh...Anya said she needed some...umm...accessories." Xander said, his face turning almost as red as the stockings he had a minute ago.  
  
  
Willow wanted to go to the mall and buy Buffy a pair of shoes and to her surprise, Xander said he wanted to come with her. She loved Xander's company, but right now she needed a girl's opinion, Buffy's opinion to be precise. She'd originally planned on taking Buffy herself, but she refused saying that she had to train, so Willow thought, {If I can't bring Buffy shopping, I'll bring the shopping to Buffy}.   
  
  
Xander hesitated as he looked back and forth between Willow and the pair of shoes she held up,   
"Uhh...they're nice?" he asked as if hoping it was the right answer.  
  
"Nice?" Willow said in frustration.  
  
At Willow's response, Xander panicked, "Uh...great...Yeah, they're great. Are they great?" he asked in a worried voice.  
  
"Xanderrr...at least try." Willow said as she put the shoes back into the box.  
  
"I am trying Will, but It's not as if I'm Joan Rivers."  
  
"Well, its a good thing you're not because I don't think she'd be shopping at a place called, Shoes & Stuff." Willow said as they left the store.  
  
"I'm sorry I'm not being all girlie with you Will, it's just...I'm not into shopping that much."  
  
"Then why did you come?"   
  
"Well, it was either this or train with Buffy." Xander said as he tugged at his pants a little.  
  
"Still sore?" Willow asked as she sat down on a hard rock bench in the center of the mall.  
  
Willow motioned for Xander to sit, but the only response she got was a How Dare You look.  
  
"You want anything to drink?" Xander asked motioning behind him with his hand towards the Peanut Shack. Willow didn't have time to answer because Xander's hand landed on a blond haired woman walking behind him, who looked to be in her early thirties, dressed in a red blouse and black pants. Lets just say, Xander's hand landed were it shouldn't.  
  
"Ahh...you perv!" the woman yelled.  
  
Xander tried to apologize, but the only response he got was a knee to the groin, sending him to his knees as the woman scurried away muttering to herself out loud.  
  
Willow kneeled beside him, "Oh...Xander."  
  
"Where's**cough**a vampire when you need**cough**one." he said on the ground.  
  
............................................  
  
The Magic Shop  
about thirty minutes later  
  
  
Giles was taking a break from his training session with Buffy as he sat down in one of the two EZ-chairs that Xander begged him to buy after Xander trained with Buffy about a week ago. As Giles leaned back, with a couple of ice packs to his knees and one by his groin. It seemed Buffy had been doing a lot of that lately, training and such. However, Giles was just glad for Buffy to be doing anything at all. The last few months had been hard on her with her mother fighting something that Buffy has no control over and then Riley leaving. However, the hardest obstacle was when Buffy found out that Dawn was probably the most dangerous fifteen year old in the world.  
  
  
{Dawn}  
  
  
His thoughts wondered as he sat there thinking about the slayer's sister. He couldn't believe that she has only been with them for the last eight months or so since the Monks created her. Giles stopped his train of thought as he refused to go down a road that he'd visited too many times.   
  
{No!} he thought to himself, {she is a part of us as we are a part of her. She is our family} He smiled at his mental image of all of the gang with Dawn. Hearing Buffy in the back as she continued to train brought his thoughts back to his slayer. Some days seemed better than others for her and today seemed to be one of those days as he remembered how she had came into the shop eager to train this morning. However, just when Buffy was starting to get over the whole Riley ordeal and was trying to focus on Dawn something else popped up.   
  
Something that no one had expected, especially Buffy. It seemed that Spike had confessed his love for the slayer just a few days ago to which Buffy didn't take very well. At least that's the conclusion Giles was drawing as he heard her land a kick to the punching bag that almost made him want to rescue it.   
  
Giles' attention was shifted as the bell rang above the Magic Shop entrance. {Please don't let that be a customer, please don't let that be a customer}  
  
Giles was happy to see that it was Xander and Willow, that is, he was happy until he saw Xander leaning on Willow as they came closer.  
  
"Oh! Oh!...slow down, slow down." Xander said with a grimace.  
  
"What happened?" Giles asked, still reclined in the chair.  
  
"This big!...big!" Xander said trying to explain with his hands, but the sudden hand movement made the pain worse.  
  
"Big What? Demon? Dear Lord, was it Glory?" Giles asked as he actually almost moved a piece of his body when he mentioned her name.   
  
"No, not Glory." Willow answered as she helped Xander down into the other EZ-chair across from Giles.  
  
"It might as well had been, though." Xander said as he slowly leaned back into the chair with a grimace.  
  
"A woman at the mall kicked him in the..." Willow stopped as she saw Giles' state, "Did she come here too?" Willow asked.  
  
Giles nodded his head towards the training room as much as possible without moving.  
  
"Oh." Willow said as she heard the punching bag screaming for help.  
  
Willow looked at Xander, who nodded his head, "Thank you." he said trying to stay as still as possible.  
  
Just when Xander was feeling like he could actually have children one day, Buffy came out of the training room and yelled, "Catch." as she threw a pair of boxing gloves towards him.  
  
Xander caught one, but the other one hit him below the belt.  
  
All eyes turned to Xander as Willow tried to get his attention. The only response she got was a look on his face that made Giles look like he was doing gymnastics.  
  
"What's wrong with him?" Buffy asked Willow.  
  
"Well, we were at the mall and this woma..." Willow stopped her explanation when she saw Xander shaking his head no, but it was too late.  
  
"The Mall?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Uhhh..." Willow said looking at Xander and then Giles for his help.  
  
"I thought you said you were working today." Buffy said looking at Xander.  
  
"Uhh...I-I was working. I was...uhh...helping paint the new store in the mall before it opened up." Xander said with a smile of triumph.  
  
"And what's the name of this new store?" Buffy asked.  
  
Xander looked at her in horror before closing his eyes with a cringe, "Make it quick."  
  
Buffy smiled inwardly as she grabbed a bottle of water off of the counter and headed back for the training room.  
  
Willow was about to say she was sorry to Xander until Buffy cut her off, "Will, could you come give me a hand with the punching bag? It doesn't seem to want to stand still."  
  
Willow looked at Buffy in the same manner Xander looked at her a minute ago, then she looked at Xander, who had a smile on his face, "Uhh...I would Buffy, but I...'ve got to...uhh...meet Tara at the...tanning place...yeah! You know, got to look good for the guys!" She said a little to excited, then realising what she said she made a dash for the door, leaving Xander and Giles alone at Buffy's mercy.  
  
"Where's a vampire when you need one." Giles heard Xander mutter.  
......................................  
  
Magic Shop  
Around 8:00 P.M.  
  
  
Buffy had called it a night about three hours ago when Dawn came by after school. Ever since then Giles and Xander had been alone in the shop. They had not moved from their respective EZ-chairs since waving bye to Dawn and Buffy.   
  
It was safe to say that this was one of the worst days of Xander's life. Sure it wasn't hellmouthy bad, but it still had been one of his worst. Xander just sat there and used the only part of his body that was currently working at the moment...his mind, as he started remembering some of the day's events.  
  
  
  
Xander's apartment, that morning  
6:00 A.M.   
  
Xander was awakened by a knocking at his door as he fell out of bed and landed on the floor with a thud.   
  
"Who is it?" Xander asked, dragging himself to the door in a stupor.  
  
"It's me." Buffy said through the door, changing Xander's face from one of sleepy, groggy to panick as he suddenly remembered that he'd promised Buffy that he would help her train today. However, he was still sore from the last time he'd trained with her and that was just two days ago. So he hurried to his closet to find some clothes as he yelled back in panick, "Just a minute!" {OH GOD! OH GOD! Think, how can I get out of this} then it hit him. After a few minutes passed he went to the door and opened it.   
  
There was Buffy dressed in one of her grey tank tops and her black sweats as she leaned against the door, "What's this?" she said looking at his stained blue jeans and his white shirt, "Do I get to train with Carl the plummer today?"   
  
Xander brushed off Buffy's comment, "I'm sorry Buff, but I forgot that I have to work today." After saying sorry a million times she finally left.  
  
Xander went to lie back down only to have the phone ring.   
  
After letting out a breath of frustration, he reached over to the nightstand and answered it, "Yeah."  
  
[Xander, what are you doing]   
  
"Well, I was trying to sleep, but it seems that isn't going to happen." Xander said.  
  
[Good, then you can meet me for breakfast. It'll be fun!]  
  
"Anya, I told you that I wanted to sleep in today. Remember, I said we would go out tonight and eat. You know, tonight as in the opposite of day."   
  
[But Denny's is giving away things with their meals. I saw it on TV!]   
  
Xander let out another breath, "Okay, give me forty five minutes to shower and clean up, then I'll come by and pick you up."  
  
After hanging up the phone, Xander went and took a shower as he tried to get the sleep out of his eyes. However, because his hands were blocking his view he didn't see the drawer he'd left open. The same drawer that just about ten minutes ago he'd went rushing into for his old work clothes to use for an excuse to get out of training with Buffy. He walked right into it sending shocks of pain throughout his lower body, almost making him wish that he was training with Buffy at the moment.  
  
After the pain went away, or at least went away enough so that he could move, Xander shut the drawer with enough force that would've rivalled Buffy's slayer strengh, before heading into the bathroom to take a shower. Just as Xander stepped into the shower and closed the door Mrs. Peterman across the hall heard a loud scream coming from Xander's apartment. That was the kind of day Xander was having and it wasn't even seven in the morning yet.  
  
  
  
Xander let out a breath to let Giles know he was still alive.  
  
"Hey G-Man." he mumbled.  
  
When he got no answer he slightly craned his neck to see Giles.  
  
"I told you I will never answer to that name." Giles said with a wet rag on his head before removing it and slowly pushing himself into an upright position.   
  
"I think it's time we called it a night." Giles said getting out of the chair.  
  
"I called it a night a couple of hours ago." Xander said still leaning back in the chair.  
  
"You can't just sleep here all night."   
  
"You wanna bet." Xander said closing his eyes.  
  
Giles took the keys to the shop out of his pocket, "Yes, good. You could be here to let Buffy in when she gets here at six in the morning to train." Giles said walking to the door, but was beaten to it by Xander.  
  
"See ya." Xander said as he ran past a smiling Giles and out the door.  
................................................  
  
  
11:00 P.M.  
  
  
  
After he left the Magic shop Xander went by Anya's and took her out to eat. Well, actually they ordered a pizza, but he still paid for it. They ate their pizza and watched a little bit of TV at her place. Anya asked him to stay the night, but he told her that he was still sore from Buffy and him going at it, which didn't seem to go over too well with Anya, especially when he worded it that way. However, he put out the fire that was jealous Anya and kissed her goodnight as he left.   
  
Now driving back to his place, he yawned as he tried to make it home without falling asleep. He turned the corner about a block from his place when he heard a girl's scream pierce through the night. Xander came to a stop with a screech from his brakes as he listened for where it had came from. When he heard the scream again he made a U-turn back the other way. It was coming from the park he had just passed a block ago.  
  
{Of course, its always has to be in a park, or a cemetery} he thought as he brought the car to another screeching hault and got out. He reached into the back seat and pulled out a stake and a cross, "Never leave home without it." he muttered out loud as he ran towards the scream. Xander wasn't prepared for what he saw. It was almost as if they were a pack of wolves.   
  
There was a dozen vamps feeding on what looked like a family. Three of them were feeding on what Xander guessed to be the father. While three others were feeding on what looked to be the mother. The worst, however, was when Xander saw two kids on the ground with four vampires hunkered over them. The vamps looked like cats licking themselves after a meal as they grinned from fang to fang. After seeing this something inside of Xander screamed out as he ran like a man possessed towards the only survivor, who looked to be the oldest daughter. She was backing up when she bumped into a bench as she stumbled to the ground while two vamps salivated over the possible meal. However, they didn't see Xander as he came up from behind and staked one of them. After hearing his comrade turn to ash, the other vamp turned around, only to get a stake in the heart for his troubles.  
  
The sudden scuffle had seemed to get the other's attention as they all started making their way towards Xander and the girl on the ground.  
  
"Get up!" Xander yelled, with his attention still on the approaching vamps.  
  
"We have to... (he was cut off by a hand to the throat when he turned around)  
  
"My Hero." the girl who Xander had saved said as she held him up by the throat smiling, before her face changed as she lowered her fangs into Xander's neck. As the dizziness overcame him from her bite, the last thing Xander saw was a flash of light as it engulfed his view.  
  
........................  
  
  
Xander woke with a jerk from bed at the sound of someone knocking at his door. Xander looked around his room as he tried to catch his bearings. The knocking, however, continued.   
  
"Just a minute!" Xander yelled out loud as he got out of bed and threw on a white t-shirt.  
  
"What the hel...Buffy." Xander said, adjusting as he opened the door.  
  
"You ready?" she said in a chipper manner leaning up against his doorway.  
  
"Ready, ready for what?" Xander asked rubbing the sleep from his eyes.  
  
"For training." she said making Xander wish he was still dreaming about being killed. 


	2. Deja Vu Part 2

Title: Deja vu  
Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to UPN, Joss, etc....  
Distribution: Yeah! like you'd want this.   
Summary: Xander gets a feeling of Deja vu.   
Setting: Season 5, right before I Was Made to Love You.  
Feedback: No pressure, but I NEED IT!!  
Rating: R for violence, that's all I swear.  
  
  
Part 2  
  
  
After wiggling his way out of training with Buffy, lying actually. Xander planned on going back to bed, but the phone ringing interrupted that plan as he sighed, rolling over and answered the phone, "Yeah."  
  
[Xander!] Anya said with a little too much excitment for Xander's liking as he pulled the phone from his ear for a second.  
  
[What are you doing?]  
  
"Well, I was trying to sleep, but it seems that's not going to happen." Xander said a little too harsh, but Anya didn't seem to catch it.  
  
[Good, then you can meet me for breakfast. It'll be fun!]  
  
"Anya, I told you that I wanted to sleep in today. Remember, I said we would go out tonight. You know, tonight as in the opposite of da..y." Xander said stringing out the last sentence with a look before shaking it off.  
  
[But Denny's is giving away things with their meals. I saw it on TV!] she said in happy manner.  
  
Xander let out another breath, "Okay, give me about forty five minutes to shower and clean up, then I'll come by and pick you up."  
  
After hanging up the phone Xander stood up and looked around the room for a minute with a puzzled expression. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something just didn't feel right. Something...  
  
Xander ran his hands through his hair as shook his head and let out a sigh while making his way to the bathroom. Xander turned the hot and cold water knobs as water came rushing down from the shower head. Slowly Xander stepped into the shower and closed the door. A minute later his scream could be heard throughout the apartment complex.  
  
..........  
  
  
Denny's  
9:00 A.M  
  
  
It had taken longer than Xander thought it would to go get Anya, mainly because after taking a cold shower he called the landlord, who said something about a hot water pipe busting. {No kidding} he thought to himself while looking at his goosebumps that looked like a demon Buffy described fighting about a week ago. Then, on his way out of the apartment complex Xander had accidently ran over a cat that resembled Mrs. Peterson's as it wobbled off down the street. Top that off with a speeding ticket on his way to pick up Anya and today wasn't going very good. However, things were looking up as Xander scraffed down his Grand Slam breakfast while Anya looked on.  
  
"Xander. Xander!"  
  
"Huh?" Xander said looking up at her with a mouthful.  
  
"What does this do?" she said holding up one of the toys that she got with her meal.  
  
"Uh...well,..." he said taking the toy that resembled something on a string.  
  
"Oh, it's a cartoon character An. It's DaffyDuck." he said handing it back to her while continuing his meal until he heard a scream come from Anya.  
  
Xander looked up just in time to see a frantic Anya throwing something across the room, "Xander where have you taken me?"  
  
"What? Anya calm down. What's wrong? What did you thr..." he cut himself off when a man came along side their table. Actually, Xander wasn't sure whether it was a man or a seven foot demon. At the moment it was too hard to tell because Xander hadn't made it to the face. He was too busy staring at the man's stomach, a stomach that almost resembled one of a sumo wrestler. Xander swallowed what was left of his breakfast in his mouth with a gulp.  
  
The man slammed down the object that Anya had thrown across the room on the table as Xander looked the Bugs Bunny figure in the eye before looking up at the man.  
  
"You've ruined our meal, not to mention my girlfriend's dress!" the man said just as a slender woman in her thirties came up behind the man. She had on a white shirt that had what looked like a coke stain on, "Look what did! You made me spill my drink! You're going to pay for it. Tell them Rocko!"  
  
The man looked agitated at the woman for a second before turning his attention back to Xander, "You heard the lady. Your going to pick up the bill and you're going to fork over enough money to pay for my girl's shirt." he said looking at Xander.  
  
Before Xander could respond Anya beat him to it, "Yeah, like new clothes could help her. I mean, I've seen hell hounds with better looking skin."  
  
"Ahhh...Anya honey, don't help." Xander said as the man seethed in anger just as an employee came over and tried to break up the confortation, "Sir, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave."  
  
"Oh, really." the man said before picking up the waiter and shoving him into a couple seated at a table knocking all of them, along with the table's contents, to the floor.  
  
Until now Xander never thought that Bugs Bunny would have something to do with his death.  
  
"Anya, have I ever mentioned how fun it is to go out with you." Xander said drawing a smile from her just before he dove at the man, knocking them both to the ground. The man knocked Xander off of him as he got up and threw Xander up against a wall. The man was choking the life out of Xander until something flew across the room at the man and connected with his temple causing the man to flinch as Xander heard Anya yell something. The flinch gave Xander his opening as he kneed the man in the stomach, causing the man to release his grip on Xander and double over in pain.   
  
Xander grabbed Anya and ran past the man doubled over on the floor beside a Bugs Bunny figure as they ran out of the Denny's.  
  
..............  
  
  
The Sunnydale Mall  
Around 1:00 P.M.  
  
  
  
After his fun with Anya, Xander decided to take Willow up on her offer to go to the mall. Well, actually he wanted to go back home and sleep, but he was afraid of the wraith he would have to face from Mrs. Peterson if she found out he ran over her cat. Then there was also the trying to avoid Buffy's training session at the Magic Shop. So, shopping with Willow it was.   
  
Just as Willow and Xander walked into one of the stores in the mall Xander stopped causing Willow to do the same, "What?"   
  
"Uhh...nothing. I, uhh...nothing." he said following her deeper into the store.   
  
"Huh." Xander said hearing Willow say his name as he turned towards her.  
  
"What do you think?" Willow asked holding up a pair of black shoes.  
  
"Uhh...they're nice." Xander said turning back around.  
  
"Xander." Willow said a little annoyed.  
  
"I'm sorry Will, I'm just...it's..." he stopped as he looked around the store again before continuing, "Haven't we been here before?" he asked turning back to Willow.  
  
"Well, since it just opened I'm thinking no." she said before eyeing what he had in his hands.  
  
Xander looked at his hands to see a pair of silk, red stockings.   
  
"A present for Anya?" Willow asked with amusement written on her face.  
  
Willow was waiting for Xander to come up with some sort of joke or something, but he just stood there with the stockings in his hands, along with a blank expression written on his face.  
  
"Xander, are you okay. Has all the blood rushed somewhere else?"  
  
Xander looked back at Willow, "What...uhh...yeah I'm fine. I just...had this feeling."   
  
"Feeling?"  
  
"Yeah, this is the second time I've had it today. First time was this morning when I got out of bed to get ready to go have breakfast with Anya." he said tossing the stockings back down on one of the shelves before following Willow out of the store.  
  
"Well, can you describe it, this feeling?" Willow said taking a seat on one of the benches in the center of the mall, while motioning for Xander to take a seat beside her.  
  
"Well, it's almost like...I don't know, a feeling of Deja-vu? Xander said standing a few feet from her as he continued to look around with his hands in his pockets.  
  
"Deja-vu, huh? I've had that before. This one time I had this dream about..." She cut herself off as she saw the expression on Xander's face, "Xander, are you okay?"  
  
"Dream. I'd almost forgotten about my dream." he said out loud.  
  
"Oh, a dream! Ever since taking Psych I've always wanted to interpret someone else's dream. Shoot!" Willow said focusing her attention on Xander even more.   
  
"Well, it's kind of hard to explain..." she cut him off, "Uhh, this doesn't have a horizontal Anya in it, does it?."  
  
"No, I promise. No horizontal Anyas."   
  
"Okay, shoot." Willow said as she shifted on the bench, now knowing why no one else in the whole mall seemed to be sitting on them.  
  
"Well, you know when you have a dream and it can be so vivid, yet you only remember parts of it."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well, this is one of those." Xander said looking back at Willow before continuing, "I remember the ending, though."  
  
"Really, and how was that?"  
  
"Well, lets just say it didn't involve a vertical Anya either." he said before turning around slightly as he caught sight of the Peanut Shack across the mall.  
  
"You want anything?" Xander asked looking at Willow as he started backing up.  
  
Before she could answer Xander ran smack dab into a woman, knocking the woman down. Xander stood over a blondhaired woman, who looked to be in her thirties as he tried to help her up while apologizing. However, after helping her up, he stopped after catching sight of her red and black attire. He suddenly started looking her up and down as if trying to place her familiarity to him. Let's just say his stare didn't go over to well with the woman as she swung her purse into his midsection, sending waves of pain throughout his whole lower body as he fell to the ground.   
  
The woman walked away, muttering out loud just as Willow kneeled down beside Xander, "Oh...Xander."  
  
"She**cough**was in my**cough**dream." Xander choked out as Willow helped him up.  
  
"Uhh, Xander?"   
  
"Yeah." he said, leaning on her for support.  
  
"She wasn't horizontal in it was she?" Willow asked as they slowly walked towards the mall entrance.  
  
.....................  
  
The Magic Shop  
About thirty minutes later  
  
  
Giles was leaning back in his E-Z chair with two ice packs on his each of his knees, one by his groin and another in his hand as he held it to his head. Just when he felt his eyes starting to close the bell above the door rang, making Giles wish he had a rocket launcher. Well, until he saw who it was as Willow and Xander entered the shop.  
  
"Dear lord." Giles said looking at Xander as Willow helped him into the other E-Z chair across from Giles.  
  
"What happened?" Giles asked.  
  
Xander didn't answer. Instead, he let Willow do all the talking as he reclined in the chair with his head back and eyes closed.   
  
"Xander bumped into his dream girl who obviously didn't share his affections, hence the painfilled, reclining Xander." Willow said looking at Giles' state of almost being a freezer before continuing, "You didn't dream about her too, did you?"   
  
"What, No. I'm afraid my pain deals more with my profession."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Giles made what Willow would call a british face at her, before nodding towards the training room.  
  
"Oh." Willow said hearing Buffy pummel what she guessed was the punching bag. {Unless, Hmmm...could Spike being pummeled make that noise} Willow thought as she remembered Buffy telling her about Spike professing his love to the slayer a couple of days ago.  
  
Giles looked at Xander as he remained reclined in the E-Z chair, "Perhaps we should....." Giles cut himself off when he heard Buffy come out of the training room.  
  
  
Buffy had been training hard the last few days. She usually trained with Giles, but lately Giles had talked Xander into helping, thus giving Giles a break every once in a while. Today was suppose to be Xander's day, but he said he had to work so when she came out of the training room she was surprised to see a reclining Xander. {Men, hmmm...I'll teach him to skip out on me.} she thought.  
  
  
"Catch!" Buffy yelled.  
  
One word.   
  
Somehow it triggered an instinct in Xander as his eyes flew open just in time to catch one of the boxing gloves Buffy had thrown at him. However, like so few things do, boxing gloves usually come in pairs. Xander would soon find this out, the hard way.  
  
Willow looked at Xander with a grimace on her face, "Xander?" she asked as she waved a couple of fingers in front of him before continuing, "How many fingers I'm I holding up?"  
  
  
No response.  
  
  
"Close enough." Willow said looking at Giles, who looked on with sympathy for the young man across from him. Willow then turned towards Buffy with a look.  
  
"What?" Buffy asked innocently.  
  
"Buffy I was just at the mall with Xander and..." Buffy interrupted Willow, "The mall?"   
  
As soon as the words were out of Willow's mouth Xander was making a dash for the door. Only problem was his body wasn't responding as he continued to recline in the EZ-chair. Xander started to relax, thinking since he looked like a corpse Buffy probably wouldn't kill him. Then he went over that thought and it made him even more worried.  
  
"I thought you said that you had to work today?" Buffy said, her gaze directed at Xander even though by now she had pretty much figured out that he was just using that for an excuse this morning so that he wouldn't have to train with her.   
  
Upon Buffy's glare Xander's toe twitched.  
  
"Buffy please, can't you see Xander's in serious pain." Giles said.  
  
Upon Giles' tone Buffy smiled, "Relax Giles, I knew Xander was just using his work excuse to get out of training with me." she said not realising how much it stung until she said it out loud.  
  
"Uhh, Buffy if it's any consolation I found you some shoes." Willow said.  
  
"Really! Where are they!" Buffy said, her whole attitude seeming to change.  
  
"Well, uhh...at the mall." Willow said a little ashamed before continuing, "But I would've if, well, you know." Willow said talking about Xander's condition.  
  
Buffy sighed, turning around as she grabbed a bottle of water off of the counter and headed back into the training room.  
  
Willow nudged Xander's arm.  
  
"Willow, could you come hold the punching bag for me. It doesn't seem to want to stand still." Buffy said, peaking her head back around the corner at Willow.  
  
"I'll go get those shoes for you now!" Willow said dashing for the door.  
  
Buffy smiled as she went back to training.  
  
After Willow left in a hurry, Giles saw Xander's left eye blink.  
==========================================  
  
Magic Shop  
Around 10:00 P.M.  
  
  
Buffy had left with Dawn, who came by after school about five hours ago. Xander had actually been able to wave bye to them as they left and was now starting to feel better as he reclined in the EZ-chair with his head back, and eyes opened as he stared up at the ceiling.   
  
"Don't you think it's about time we called it a night?" Giles said coming out from behind the counter after locking up the cash from the draw into a special safe behind an old painting on the wall that Xander remembered Giles saying use to belong to a Warlock that he once knew.  
  
When Xander didn't answer him Giles walked up to him and looked up to where Xander was staring, "Or we could just sit here all night and stare at the ceiling."  
  
"Have you ever felt like our lives are too boring?"  
  
Giles looked at Xander for a second before walking away without saying a word. This got Xander's attention, "Giles, are you listening to...what are you doing?" Xander asked as Giles picked up the phone.  
  
"I'm calling an ambulance because it's obvious you're not alright." Giles said before smiling as he put the phone back down.  
  
"It's too late at night for british humor G-Man." Xander said before continuing with a more serious tone, "No, what I mean is that we get up, do our thing, go to bed and get up in the morning to do it all over again."  
  
"Our thing?" Giles asked with eyes raised.  
  
"Yeah you know, getting up, going to work, saving the world...our thing." Xander said simply.  
  
"Well, I think that's what they call life Xander." Giles said walking over and taking a seat in the other EZ chair across from Xander before continuing, "Well, except for saving the world part. That's just our life."  
  
Xander let out a sigh as he got up and started walking to the door.  
  
"Where are you going?" Giles asked, still seated in the chair.  
  
"Home, maybe Anya's. Why?"  
  
"I thought we were going to have a good old chat." Giles said with a little disappointment in his voice before smiling at Xander.  
  
"Perhaps when I'm more alert." Xander said smiling back at him before continuing, "Well, unless this is *the* talk."  
  
At his comment Xander saw Giles have an expression of fear that would've rivaled any look that Anya had upon seeing a bunny.  
  
"Night Giles." Xander said as he opened the Magic Shop door and left, leaving a still fearful looking Giles seated in the EZ-chair.  
======================================  
  
10:40 P.M.  
Downtown Sunnydale  
  
  
Xander was now driving home. He decided against going over to Anya's because he felt she would be asleep and he didn't want to wake her. Well, actually he thought that after already going over there and letting himself in to see snoring beauty herself. To which he fought the urge to wake her. He then left, deciding that he'd make up their dinner plans to her tomorrow. So, here he was at {Xander looks down at his clock in the car that reads 10:45} as he drives home trying to shake off the sleepiness that is trying to overtake him as he stops at the redlight about a block from StoneRidge Park. Xander decides to use the steering wheel as a pillow while waiting for the light. However, the sudden scream of a girl vetoed that idea as his head shot up. After hearing the again Xander suddenly didn't care about the light as he shifted the car into drive and headed towards StoneRidge Park.   
  
He pulled along side the curb and got out while grabbing a cross and a couple of stakes before crossing the street and heading down the sidewalk leading into StoneRidge Park. Hearing another scream only made him run faster as his adreline started pumping while he remembered what Giles had said less than an hour ago about saving the world being part of their lives.   
  
When Xander came to the clearing he saw a herific scene. Three vamps were feeding on a woman, while three others were feeding on a man. {Damnit! I'm too late} Then, Xander caught sight of two kids, a boy and a girl. They were huckered down behind some bushes trying to hide. The only problem was the bushes were sparse and provided little, if any at all, cover. This was only proven by two vamps grabbing the kids from behind and dragging them out into the open as they kicked and screamed. The two vamps shoved the kids to the ground while two other vamps salivated nearby.   
  
{Nine vamps. How I'm I supposed to take on nine vamps?} However, hearing the kids cry out for help pushed those thoughts aside.   
  
  
  
Whoosh...  
  
  
  
The two vamps that had pulled the kids out from the bushes looked up in surprise as one of their comrades turned to dust. What they saw was a young man standing about twenty feet from the dust clearing.   
  
{Oh My God! I did the cool throwing the stake thing! Damnit! Where's a witness when you need one?}   
  
  
  
**Oooph**  
  
  
  
The next thing Xander knew was that he was on his back with a vamp pinning his hands to the ground. Xander looked up into the face of a female who at the moment had seemed to choose not to show her vamp visage as her human face smiled down at him, while her red hair flowed down her shoulders. Xander, however, knew the truth because he could feel her powerful hands pinning him to the ground.   
  
What puzzled Xander even more was the fact that this one had seemed to come out of nowhere because she wasn't one of the nine he spotted just a second ago. {Which means there's no telling how many of them there are.} he thought looking up into her face before something clicked in the back of his mind. Something... like this morning. Something... "I know you." Xander said still pinned down as he looked up at the now amused female on top of him.  
  
"Oh, really?"  
  
Xander just kept staring up at her. He knew that face he just couldn't remember whe... A realization came over Xander, "My dream."  
  
"Nooo baby, your worst nightmare." the female vamp said as her face changed.  
  
Xander looked to his left to see his cross about five feet from him, but he couldn't see his other stake. When Xander looked back up the female was making her descent towards his neck. At that moment Xander knew the only way out of this, so he acted. Just when the female's head was close enough to him, he brought his head forward and headbutted her. She grabbed her head in agony which freed Xander's hands as he pushed her off of him. Xander then got up as he tried to wave off the dizziness that was trying to overtake him, "Buffy makes that look so much better." He said out loud to no one inparticular as he shook the cobwebs in his head. After hearing growling coming from behind him he reached down and picked the cross up and spun around shoving it into the face of an approaching vamp, making the vamp snarl and back up with a couple of his buddies behind him. Xander then heard a laugh from behind him as he looked over his shoulder quickly, before refocusing his attention on holding the vamps away with the cross.   
  
"You are something. I'll give you that. Coming in here and rushing to the aid of another." the female said eyeing Xander from about twenty five feet away.  
  
"I bet you don't even know them, do you? So heroic." another slight laugh from the female. She looked so young and innocent, yet her eyes held another truth.   
  
Xander didn't say a word, mainly because he was too busy concentrating on not letting the vamps around him close in as he continued to hold his cross up in front of him. Then, he surveyed the area quickly before slightly turning his face towards the female behind him as he smiled, "Looks like."  
  
The redheaded female looked around and found the reason for the young man's smile as she noticed that the kids were gone before returning Xander's smile with a small one of her own, "Perhaps you are a hero, but you know what? She said, her vamp visage coming to the surface, before continuing, "Hero's can die."  
  
Xander's smile faded as one of the vamps knocked away his cross. However, the vamp got a fist to the face for his troubles as Xander tried to fight his way out of a battle he knew he couldn't win. All in all, Xander had knocked off four vamps before he was grabbed around the throat by the redheaded female as she savored in her victory with a smile, "I like you, Hero. Perhaps you could be of use." She said grabbing Xander's arm as he attempted to swing it at her, "You see I could use another minion, seeing that you killed one of mine and all. An eye for an eye as they say." the female vamp said before sinking her fangs into Xander's neck.  
  
Xander felt the dizziness once again overtake him, as his eyes became heavy and he began to sick into unconsciousness just as a bright light engulfed everything in a split second.  
===================================================  
  
The morning light...so bright, so warm, so...  
  
"Ahhh!" Xander leaped out of bed as he fell to the floor. He quickly got up, halfway wrapped up in the covers as they had fell to the floor with him. He looked around as he poked at his neck with his hands.   
  
{Oh My God! I'm a vampire!} Xander rushed to the bathroom as he ran in front of the mirror.   
  
A heavy sigh came from Xander as he saw his reflection in it. "Then, what am I?" He asked out loud to no one inparticular.  
  
A knock at his front door brought him out of his thoughts as he stood at the bathroom entrance, "W-who is it?" he called out.  
  
"It's Buffy, now come on and open the door."  
============================================ 


	3. Deja Vu Part 3

Title: Deja Vu  
Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
belong to UPN, Joss, Fox, etc....  
Distribution: You can put it wherever you want as long  
as it's a happy place very far from B/S.   
Summary: Xander realizes that he's reliving the same  
day over and over again.   
Setting: Season 5, right before I Was Made to Love  
You.  
Feedback: What would a fic be without feedback?...uh, probably my fic.  
Rating: PG-13 to R.  
  
  
  
Part 3  
  
  
Outside of Xander's apartment  
6:10 A.M.  
  
  
Buffy walked up the stairs leading to Xander's apartment. She had been up these stairs many times, but never this early in the morning.   
  
{God, no wonder Xander always seems so tired} she thought, finally reaching the top stair, as she walked down the hallway to his door.   
  
After hearing movement in his apartment she put all thoughts of feeling sorry for Xander aside as she knocked on the door.  
  
"W-who is it?" she heard Xander call out.  
  
"It's Buffy, now come on and open the door."   
  
After a minute of no response she leaned against the foorway, "Xander, I'm not leaving until you come to the door so if I was you I'd..." she was cut off by the door flying open so fast that she lost her balance, but Xander caught her as he quickly pulled  
her into his apartment before closing the door.   
  
"Xander what's your...." She was cut off by Xander, "Buffy we're in trouble."   
  
"In trouble? How are we in trouble?"   
  
"What do you mean how? Haven't you noticed?"   
  
"Xander, the only thing I've noticed is that you need to switch to decaf in the morning."   
  
{Oh God, she doesn't realize}   
  
Xander began pacing around the room as Buffy watched, "Xander, what's wrong?"   
  
Xander stopped as he looked back at her, "Giles, he'll know what to do." Xander said before grabbing ahold of her arm and dragging her out the door.  
  
When they got into Xander's car Buffy didn't even have time to put her seatbelt on as Xander shifted the car in reverse and backed up in a hurry.  
  
"Xander, tell me what is wrong."  
  
"Not now. When we get to the Magic Shop I'll explain... or try to anyway."  
  
"Explain what?" Buffy said as a thumping sound came from underneath them, "What was that?" she asked looking out the window on her side before looking back at Xander.  
  
"Speed bump." he replied in a flat tone.  
  
As they pulled out of the driveway and down the street towards the Magic Shop, speed bump wobbled off to his owner.  
  
......................  
  
The Magic Shop  
25 minutes later  
  
  
It was 6:45 in the morning and Giles was at the shop nontheless.   
  
Always a professional no matter the job.   
  
Whether it be his watcher duties or his duties to the shop, Giles was always up to the task. Today, however, was a different story as he stood behind the counter looking at the new inventory that had came yesterday in horror. There were five boxes stacked so high that  
Giles was about ready to define it's demon origins until the bell rang above the door, drawing his attention.  
  
"Giles! Giles!" Xander shouted until spotting the watcher behind the counter.  
  
"Xander." Giles said simply before continuing, "Where's Buffy? I thought..." his question was answered as the blond slayer came through the door almost out of breath.  
  
"Now I know why I've been too scared to get my driver's license." Buffy said coming inside and closing the door.  
  
"Giles we've got a problem." Xander said almost out of breath himself.  
  
"A problem, what kind of problem?"  
  
"Well, you see... I'm uhh, well, it's kind of..." Xander let out a breath before continuing, "I'mrelivingthesamedayoverandoveragainandIdon'tknowhowlongthishasbeengoingonbutI'msureit'satleasttwodaysmaybemore." he finished nearly falling to the floor in exhaustion.  
  
"Oh." Giles simply replied after listening to Xander's impersonation of the guy on the micro-machines commercial.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me this at your apartment?" Buffy asked as Xander's breathing became normal again.  
  
"I didn't want to have to repeat myself twice." Xander replied as Giles motioned for Buffy and Xander to take a seat.  
  
Once Buffy and Xander were seated at the table in the middle of the Magic Shop, Giles stood over them with his hand massaging his temples.  
  
"Xander, are you sure this wasn't a dream? Possibly brought on by something you ate."   
  
"I'm sure Giles. I couldn't get more sure."  
  
"Okay, well, first we need to know exactly when you first became aware of this...um, phenomenon."  
  
"This morning when I woke up, although, I had these feelings yesterday....or would that be today?" he pondered out loud to himself.   
  
After Xander received a stern look from both Buffy and Giles he continued, "I first started having these feelings of, I guess you could call them...Deja Vu, when I spoke to Anya on the phone."  
  
"Before I came over?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Yes...uhh, no." After receiving a look of doubt from Buffy he continued, "Hey, this is strange okay. It's not as if they have a book for these kind of things." he said defending himself before looking at Giles with desperation, "Do they?"  
  
"Uhh, well, not that I know of." the watcher said.  
  
"What do you mean, not that you know of? You're the watcher. You're suppose to know these kind of things." Xander said in a panic.  
  
"Xander, calm down. We're get through this, okay." Buffy said across from him.  
  
Xander looked at her and nodded his head before looking up at Giles, "Where do we start?"  
  
"Uhhh, well, probably with research." Giles said walking away as he continued, "We'll need you to tell us everything about your experience. Every little detail could be helpful." he said coming back with a few books in his hands before dropping them on the  
table in front of Xander and Buffy.  
  
"Buffy why don't you call Willow and Tara and see if they could help in the research." Giles said as Buffy got up with a nod and headed to the phone.   
  
Xander got up as he looked at the clock in the Magic Shop, "I'll go pick up Anya."   
  
"Pick her up? Why don't you just call her?" Giles asked.  
  
"Because if I remember correctly right about this time she's calling me to see if I'd like to go eat breakfast with her." Xander said cringing.  
  
"And that's a problem?"   
  
One look from Xander gave the watcher all he needed to know, "Hurry back."   
....................................  
  
  
The Magic Shop  
About six hours later  
  
  
After Xander and Anya got back, the latter finally being convinced that it wasn't a good idea to go to Denny's, everyone listened to Giles' lecture on stuff that made Xander feel like he was taking a college course....in German.  
  
Willow and Tara had arrived just before Xander and Anya. They were all seated at the table, Tara and Anya beside one another, while Willow sat beside Xander. Buffy was leaning against the book shelf by the table as she too tried to comprehend the lecture that was Giles.  
  
"Look on the bright side, at least now you might get some use out of your knowledge of star trek." Willow whispered into Xander's ear with a slight smile, trying to lighten the mood.   
  
Giles clearing his throat wiped the smile from her face as she made a zipping of the mouth and throwing away the key motion.   
  
Giles went back to his chalk board that he had dragged into the center of the shop. He was writing calculation after calculation, so many in fact that even he seemed to be confusing himself at times. When he finished the last calculation with a tap of the chalkboard he looked at the gang like he'd just discovered the cure for cancer.   
  
"Uhh, could you go over that again, but this time in English?"  
  
Giles just looked at the young man before him with a blank expression.  
  
Tara broke the silence, "How do we stop this from happening again, today I mean?"  
  
"Well, first we have to find out who did this."  
  
"You mean you think someone did this?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Perhaps, or perhaps some event could have caused it. I don't know yet." Giles said as he stared straight at the table, deep in thought.  
  
"Okay, you know how much I love these round table discussions of ours, but I think you all are missing the point here."  
  
"And that would be?" Giles asked.  
  
"How the hell do *I* get out of this thing?" Xander asked in panic.  
  
Before Giles could respond Anya spoke up, "See if you'd came over to my place last night when you were suppose to we'd probably be having sex right now and you wouldn't be in Bill Murray hell."   
  
"What did you do last night? I mean, after you left here?" Giles asked, trying to ignore Anya's comment.  
  
"Actually, that was tonight." Willow before receiving looks from Giles and Xander to which she threw away another key.  
  
"Lets see, first I went to Anya's." Xander said recieving a smile from her as he continued, "then..."  
  
  
"Xander?"  
  
"Oh God..."  
  
"What?" Buffy asked as she stood from her leaning position against the bookshelf.  
  
"I can't believe I didn't remember it sooner."  
  
"Remember what?" When Giles got no response from Xander he continued, "Xander, what is it that you didn't remember?"  
  
"The family. Giles, we've got to do something. I was too late before. There were too many vampires." Xander said looking up at Giles and the others.  
  
"Ok, calm down Xander."   
  
"No, you don't understand." Xander said as he looked up at the clock that read 1:35 P.M. on the wall before continuing, "We've got to warn them, before it's too late."  
  
"Xander, listen to me."  
  
"Giles, we..." he was cut off by Giles, "Xander, sundown isn't for another five hours or so. The more important matter at hand right now is that you tell me everything that transpired last night. Everything, no matter how insignificant it might seem. There's no  
telling what may have caused this event."  
  
"What, are you saying that I may have caused this?"  
  
"I don't know, but we must keep all of our options open at the moment. We mustn't jump into something we know nothing about so please go over every detail of what you experienced last night."  
  
Xander sighed and began telling his day.  
==========================================================  
  
StoneRidge Park  
10:25 P.M.   
  
  
They had been here since sundown and still no sign of any vamps, especially no sign of a family. Giles believed there might be some sort of connection between the family's death and these strange events that were supposedly occurring. There was only one way to find  
out.  
  
  
The park had an eerie quiet to it that made the hairs on Xander's neck stand on edge. {Or maybe that's just the effects of being in a crypt}   
  
Willow, Tara and Buffy were in one group, while Xander, Giles, and Anya held up in a local crypt just about twenty yards from where the family had previously met their doom.  
  
{You've got to love Sunnydale. A crypt at every corner} Xander thought as he peered over Giles' shoulder, who was looking through the slightly cracked door. At first Buffy couldn't find a good place to stay low at from the other side of the park, but as irony and a levation spell from Willow would have it, her, Willow and Tara were now in one of the tallest trees in the park as they sat and waited.  
  
"Will, not that I doubt your magic abilities, but do you think you'll be able to get us down from this tree without disabling us before, you know, we actually fight the vamps."  
  
"Buffy, you worry too much. We're just an {Eccephe'} away from being in contact with Mr. Grass."  
  
Neither Buffy, nor Willow noticed that Tara fell to the ground with a thump.  
  
After catching her breath and dusting herself off, Tara stood up and was about to call out to Willow and Buffy when she bumped into something. No, make that someone as the woman looked at the girl before her with a smile, "I'm sorry, did I scare you?"  
  
Tara could sense something in this woman she didn't like. She was hoping that any minute now Buffy and Willow would join her, but they still didn't seem to notice her disappearance as they continued to bicker in the tree. Willow accusing Buffy of not believing in  
her magic and such.  
  
Meanwhile across the park Xander and Giles didn't even see Tara's state either because they were now focused on the family that had just ran into the park, obviously fleeing from something or someone.   
  
As soon as Giles opened the crypt door, Xander flew out with Anya behind him as Giles brought up the rear. Giles had a crossbow, while Xander was armed with a stake and cross. Anya held onto her bottle of holy water as she followed close behind Xander.   
  
Buffy was about to reply to Willow's put down of her stupid looking stake until she sensed movement from her left. She turned just in time to see Xander, Anya and Giles head towards a group of people, struggling to fight off a group of vamps.   
  
"Willow!"  
  
Willow immediatly went quiet when she heard Buffy's alarming tone. She knew that tone all too well. Willow followed Buffy's gaze to the rest of the gang coming to the rescue of the family.   
  
"Willow, get us down. Now!"   
  
"Eccephe'!"   
  
With one word they both fell to the ground. Well, actually Willow fell, Buffy landed gracefully as she pounced back up from her crouching stance and flew into action.   
  
Willow was about to take off after Buffy until she heard something behind her, "Tara, are you o..." she cut herself off as she saw Tara being held by a woman. As Willow looked into the eyes of Tara's captor she could tell this was a vampire. She didn't need the  
woman's face to change to tell her that fact. She had been at this too long not to know.  
  
"Well, well, who says money doesn't grow on trees. Well, okay maybe not money, but it seems food definitely does." The gorgeous, redhead said with a smile.  
  
Willow could see the fear in Tara's eyes as they locked gazes for a moment before Willow spoke something so low that the redhead didn't hear until it was too late.  
  
The redhead released her grip on Tara as she screamed in agony. This caught the attention of Buffy who had just dusted one of the vamps that Xander was wrestling with.   
  
Both Buffy and Xander looked up to see the redhead look upon Willow and Tara with hatred as she held her burnt hands out in front of her before fleeing with a couple of her minions close behind.  
  
"What was that all about?" Xander asked as Buffy and him came along side Willow.  
  
"Oh, that's just a little spell me and Tara have been working on. Just a little holy magic."  
  
"Holy Magic?" Giles asks as he and Anya now join the hundled group.  
  
"Yeah, I blessed Tara." Willow said with a wide smile before looking at Tara who returned the smile with one of her own.  
  
Buffy's demeanor changed as she scanned the area, "Guys, shhh."  
  
They all looked around, waiting for an attack, before Buffy spoke out loud, "Alright Spike, come on out. I know you're here."  
  
The platinum blond vampire came out from behind one of the trees, "Bloody Hell! Can't a guy at least have the satisifaction of ease dropping anymore."  
  
"You're not a guy, so no." Buffy stated as she put her hands on her hips before continuing, "What are you doing out here and more importantly what the hell is Dawn doing here!" Buffy said as Dawn came out from behind Spike.  
  
Dawn was about to say something until Spike spoke up first, "The niblet just wanted to go out for a stroll. I saw her sneaking out of her window and decided that she'd be safer with the big bad by her side."  
  
"I'm thinking she wouldn't because usually dust isn't very capable of defending anyone." Buffy said before looking at Dawn, "And you, what is it about vampires, night, Sunnydale, and dangerous that you don't  
understand."  
  
"Listen slayer, she was only..." Spike was cut off by Xander, "Okay, you know that I'm all for yelling at Spike, but what about our little problem? You know, the reason why we're out here in the middle of the  
night."  
  
"Yes, I believe Xander is right. Perhaps we should save staking Spike for another time and call it a night." Giles said looking directly at Buffy.  
  
"Fine, but yelling at my sister is not open for discussion." Buffy said grabbing Dawn as the gang followed.  
  
"So, does saving the family mean that we stopped this time loop thingy?" Xander asked as he walked along side by Giles.  
  
"Perhaps, but I'm not sure. There may be no connection between the family and this time loop as you put it. Like I said before, this could be the handy work of someone else. Who or what I don't know yet."   
  
"What do we do then?" Xander asked as he watched Giles' get into his red convertible.  
  
Before Giles could answer, Xander heard the all too familar sound of someone knocking before opening his eyes and finding himself back in bed.  
  
..................  
  
  
Xander went through the next few days/loops going, well, loopy. He'd gone over it time and again with the gang about his previous day, but they were getting nowhere. Giles had suggested that Xander should start taking notes of everything that he experienced and report back to him each and every morning about the previous day. What made it even worse was that no matter how much the gang wanted to help they really couldn't. They would try to help out in the research department, but Xander always had to be there to inform them on whatever they'd already covered or else they would just be researching the same thing over and over again.   
  
To say it was frustrating was an understatement.   
  
The one thing that Giles had come to believe was that the reason Xander was the only one aware of this time loop was because of his near death experience in the park at the time that this phenomenon began.   
  
Dawn had convinced Buffy to let her skip school and help out with the research. Even Spike agreed to help out. Well, for a price that is.   
  
"I like my blood O-pos if you don't mind." the planinum blond vampire said leaning against the bookshelf as he handed the mug back to Willow. He was rewarded with a book being shoved into his chest from  
a not so happy looking slayer.   
  
"Spike, you agreed to help out so shut up and start reading."  
  
Spike took the book in his left hand before walking slowly over to one of the tables, all the while giving Buffy a good once over as she rolled her eyes and went back over to where Giles was standing.   
  
"Anything?" she asked.  
  
"Well, umm...no." Giles said looking back down at one the books in his arms as he put it back in the shelf before continuing, "I really don't know what to look for. There's no telling who or what caused this event."  
  
"Giles."  
  
"Hmm."  
  
"Do you think Glory could have something to do with this?"   
  
"I've thought about that, but it doesn't seem like something she'd do."  
  
"Yeah, I guess you're right. She's a God after all, why would she have to worry about invoking a spell or something. If she truly knew about The K...Dawn, then she'd probably just bust in here and...."   
  
"Buffy, I'm worried about Dawn also." Giles said as he put a hand on Buffy's shoulder while looking over at the slayer's younger sister who at the moment was sitting beside Willow and Xander at the table in the middle of the room, "But I know she'll be fine. You want to know why? Because she has you." he said looking down at an almost tearful young woman.  
  
  
"This is all too freaky." Dawn said looking at the book in her lap.  
  
"Tell me about it." Xander said.  
  
"I mean, there's no telling how many times I've taken Ms. Bullard's history test." Dawn said looking up at Willow and Xander.  
  
"Well, at least you forget taking it, every morning I wake up there's Buffy the work out slayer banging on my door."  
  
"Yeah, but look at all the fun you could be having." Dawn said as her smile grew wider.  
  
"Fun?" Xander said looking up at the person who at the minute he wanted to put in a door knob and turn, "You don't know how much I'd wish Denny's would go out of business at the moment."  
  
"Yeah, but if it did it'd just be back in business the next loop." Willow said innocently.  
  
Xander looked at his childhood friend beside him with a glare as she quickly looked back at the book in her lap.  
  
"No consequences. Just think, you could do anything and no one would know except you. If I were you I'd be living it up." Dawn said looking across the table at Xander.  
  
"You'd be living what up?" Buffy asked as she come up from behind Dawn.  
  
"She'd be living up life." Willow answered with a smile.  
  
"Yeah, living life is always good." Buffy answered as she yawned before continuing, "It's late, you should be home. Mom's probably worried since she doesn't know yet about your little class cutting today. Plus I'm a little sleepy." she finished with another yawn.  
  
"Why, it's not as if we're going to get any sleep anyway. I mean, before we know it we'll be waking up to go get dressed and then we'll have to go take a history test again. The same one we've been taking for God knows how long and, uh..." Dawn cut herself off when she saw everyone's eyes on her before quickly changing the subject, "Uh, well, just because you're too sleepy to care about helping Xander doesn't mean I am." she said towards Buffy.  
  
"What, that's not true. I care." Buffy said defending herself too everyone before looking at Xander with a uncertain face, "Xander you know I care, right?"  
  
"Yeah, I know. It's okay Buff. Go ahead take Dawnie home and get some rest. The rest of us can take it from here."  
  
"Okay, but if you guys find anything call me and I'll be here stat." Buffy said as Dawn got up reluctantly and followed her out.   
  
"Maybe I should make sure they get home okay." Spike said as he made a move for the door before being blocked by Giles. Spike made a move to go around him, but Giles countered him, move for move.   
  
"Listen, I don't know what your problem is, but...." Spike was cut off by a finger to his chest from Giles, "You're my problem Spike. Mine and everyone elses. Take my advice, leave her alone. Stay away from her or else you'll find out that the pain you have from that  
chip in your head is nothing compared to the pain I can put you through."  
  
Fear. A microsecond of fear and then it was gone as if it was never there.   
  
Spike smirked as Giles continued, "Now if you want to help us research that's fine, but if not then leave, but..." Giles was cut off by Spike.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, don't go near the slayer. I've got it. Now if you don't mind, some of us actually like the things that go bump in the night." he said before leaving, but not before looking back at the group as  
he lit a cigarette with a smile.  
  
After Spike left Giles turned to Xander, "Xander, I don't know if we'll be able to find out what it is that's causing this in the limited time we have until the day starts over so..."   
  
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Remember what we researched the previous day, so that we don't research the same thing again." To Xander's remark Giles acted like he was about to say something, but Xander continued, "Oh, and don't suggest I write it down because been there, done that. Doesn't work. "  
  
After he spoke Xander looked up at the clock, "Well, we've got about an hour and a half if I'm correct so lets get with the studying."   
  
At Xander's eagerness to study, Willow, Tara, Anya and Giles all looked at him, "You know, I'm going to kill who or whatever did this, right?" Xander said.  
  
Giles had thought the same thing. {Why was this morning the day I chose to change my breakfast routine. Bloody Fruit loops.}  
==========================================================  
  
Okay, there's part 3. I hope you liked it. The next part hopefully won't take as long, though, I'm afraid with RL rearing it's ugly head it may take a couple of weeks. Though, I will tell you this, in part 4 Xander starts to take Dawn's advice. Plus, for all those patient people out there, there will be B/X moments.  
  
  
TC 


	4. Deja Vu Part 4

Author's note:   
[********** means next loop, ......... means later on in the current loop]  
  
  
Part 4  
  
  
Outside of Xander's Apartment  
6:10 A.M.  
  
  
Buffy walked up the stairs leading to Xander's apartment. She had been up these stairs many times, but never this early in the morning.   
  
{God, no wonder Xander always seems so tired} she thought, finally reaching the top stair as she walked down the hallway to his door.   
  
When she came to his door she raised her hand to knock, but found the door slightly cracked. This worried Buffy as she cautiously pushed the door open, "Xander?"  
  
"Right here Buff."  
  
"Uh Xander, what are you doing sleeping on the couch? Are you okay?" Buffy asked as she closed the door to his apartment behind her.  
  
"Yeah, and I wasn't sleeping, I was waiting for you." he said staring up at the ceiling.  
  
"Waiting? Wow, if I'd known you were this eager to train I'd came sooner."  
  
Xander's sudden snicker, turning into laughter caught Buffy off guard, "Oh yeah, I'm fine. Just dandy."   
  
"Oookay, then are you ready to go to the Magic Shop?"  
  
This drew another laugh from him as he continued to stare up at the ceiling, "She asked if I was ready to go to the Magic Shop." he said towards the ceiling as he continued to laugh.  
  
"Uh, Xander are you sure you're alright because right now I'm thinking hyena?"  
  
When Xander didn't answer she walked over to him and sat down on the couch beside him, "Xander, what's wrong? Did something happen? Something with you and Anya?"  
  
Xander took his eyes off the ceiling to look her straight in the eyes, "No, Anya and I are fine. I'm just stuck in..." Xander slightly exhaled with a smile before continuing, "...a rut."  
  
"Well, tell that rut to let go or else Buffy Summers will come looking for it." she said with a determined look as she got up and extended her hand, "Now, let's go to the Magic Shop. Maybe a little violence will help get you out of funky Xander mode."  
  
"Ummm, Buff violence usually only does you good if you're the one inflicting it."  
  
"Well, maybe I'll let you have a few jabs in here and there."  
  
"You're too kind." Xander said as he followed her out of the apartment.  
  
..........................  
  
  
The Magic Shop Training Room  
11:15 A.M.  
  
  
Xander now sat on the bench in the training room as Buffy continued to pound on the punching bag. How someone could train for five hours was beyond Xander, but here she was pounding the life out of that poor punching bag. Xander just got back from "his break" as Buffy called it. He had to admit though, this was helping a little. He had lost track of how many times he'd gone to the gang and told them about his problem to which they would research it over and over again with no luck. {Maybe Dawn's right, maybe....phhff}  
  
A towel hitting Xander in the midsection interrupted his thoughts.   
  
"Okay, break's over. Now come on over here and hold this bag for me. It doesn't seem to want to stand still." Buffy said picking up her bottled water off of the floor.  
  
"No."  
  
"No? What do you mean no?"   
  
"No, as in I'm ready for something else. Maybe where I hold something other than a bag."   
  
"What, you want to spar or something?" Buffy said as a slight snicker escaped her mouth.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Look, Xander I appreciate you helping me out with my workouts in the morning, but I won't spar with you."   
  
Xander rolled his eyes as she continued, "Xander, I get kind of rough when I spar, you might get hurt."  
  
"Oh, and Giles doesn't? Maybe...." Xander said as Buffy spoke up, "Xander, I'm not sparring with you and that's final."  
  
"...you're just scared that I might actually beat you." Xander finished which drew a glare from the slayer.  
  
"Suit up." Was all that Buffy said as she went over to the wall and retrieved a couple of staffs.  
  
"Suit up in what?" Xander asked just as Buffy turned back around and tossed one of the staffs to him.  
  
The only answer she gave him was a quick thrust forward with her staff to which Xander barely blocked. Buffy backed up and regrouped. That's when Xander gave her an opening as he came forward at her as if he was afraid to hit her. She blocked his semi-thrust forward and knocked the staff out of his hands, then came at him with a quick sweep of the staff under his feet, knocking him to the mat.  
  
{How dare he think he can beat me. You can't push me around, I'm the slayer. I'm...Oh God Xander!} Before she knew it she was standing over him with her staff at his throat.  
  
"Oh Xander, I'm so sorry." she said tossing her staff away as she reached down and extended her hand.   
  
Xander didn't take her hand as he leaned up with a grimace, "That's okay, next time I'll be ready."  
  
This drew a questioning expression from Buffy, "Next time?"  
  
*******************************  
  
"...you're just scared that I might actually beat you."  
  
"Suit up." Buffy said as she quickly went over to the wall and retrieved a couple of staffs. As she turned around she tossed one of the staffs towards Xander who caught it just as Buffy made her move. She made a quick thrust forward with her staff to which Xander blocked, then she waited for an opening. Just when she saw Xander attempt a lunge with his staff she went in, but was surprised to find no opening except her own. An opening that Xander quickly took advantage of as he knocked the staff out of her hand, sending it rattling across the floor before looking at Buffy with a smug smile, "Maybe you're the one who needs to suit up."  
  
  
Wrong thing to say.  
  
  
Before he knew it Buffy's foot kicked out, knocking his staff up into the air as Xander watched it gracefully fall into her hands as she backed him up against the wall with it, "You were saying?"  
  
*******************************  
  
"...you're just scared that I'd beat you."  
  
"Suit up." Buffy said as she quickly went over to the wall and retrieved a couple of staffs. When she turned around and tossed one of the staffs to Xander he caught it with ease as she came at him. Her first thrust was quickly blocked away to which she seemed to back up as if rethinking her line of attack. When she saw Xander make a move she jumped at what she saw as an opening, however, the opening quickly closed up and exposed one of her own as Xander knocked her staff out  
of her hand and across the room. Buffy looked up into the eyes of her opponent and could see the  
satisfaction in them. {Oh, it's not over yet}  
  
  
She was wrong.  
  
  
When she made an attempt at overcoming him without a weapon Xander did exactly what she had done to him before as he sweeped his staff under her feet, dropping her to the ground.  
  
{What the hell?} Buffy thought as she laid flat on her back, looking up into the smiling face of one Alexander Harris.  
  
After a minute or two of taking in his victory Xander extended his hand to Buffy.  
  
  
Wrong thing to do.  
  
  
Buffy took his hand with a silent thank you as she used her force to pull him down to the ground with her as she rolled over to a sitting position on top of him, pinning his hands to the mat.  
  
"Where the hell did you learn how to fight like that?"  
  
Xander only smiled.  
  
********************************  
  
"I think you're just afraid that I might wipe the mat with you."  
  
"Suit up." Buffy said as she quickly went over to the wall and retrieved a couple of staffs. She turned around and tossed one of the staffs to Xander as he caught it without looking, drawing a perplexed look from Buffy before she came at him. Her first thrust was quickly blocked away to which she seemed to back up as if rethinking her line of attack. When she saw Xander just sitting there as if he was bored she jumped at what she thought was an opening. The next thing she knew her staff was rattling across the floor. Buffy looked down at her hands as if not believing what had just happened, when she looked up she saw Xander holding the staff with his left hand and an apple in his right as he took a bite, not even looking at Buffy.  
  
{Who the hell does he think he is?}  
  
The look she gave him was one that would make the first slayer turn tail and run, problem was Xander still wasn't looking at her as he continued to eat the apple nonchalantly.  
  
A couple of seconds later, the blood cry was heard throughout the training room as Buffy came at Xander.   
  
Xander tossed the apple away and tripped her to the ground with his staff.   
  
"Thanks for the workout Buff. We'll do it again sometime." Xander said as he tossed the staff on the ground beside Buffy and started walking out of the training room.  
  
Buffy flipped herself up, "Where are you going? We're not through!"   
  
Xander turned around at the door, "Buffy, I've got some things to do, but I'll tell you what, you train a little harder and maybe I'll give you another crack at me later." he said before turning back around and walking off with a smile on his face.  
  
He missed a very pissed off slayer turn and kick the punching bag so hard it went flying across the room as it hit the weapons display on the wall, knocking all the weapons to the ground.  
  
.....................  
  
Sunnydale High  
Ms. Bullard's Room  
12:05 P.M.  
  
  
History Test Paper  
Question 1: What events were most responsible for WWI?  
  
  
{Okay, I can do this. Sure, I didn't study because Lisa wanted to talk on the phone all night, but I can still do this.}   
  
Dawn finished question one with ease as she smiled and turned to the end of the test to find that there were one hundred questions on the test. {Oh Crap!}  
  
Question 2: Who was the general in the WWI picture that wore the funny looking hat. Hint:Third guy from right...{What the hell?}  
  
Before Dawn could even get into question three someone knocked on the classroom door as they came in with a note and handed it to Ms. Bullard.   
  
Ms. Bullard clearing her throat, "Ms. Summers, it seems that you've been excused. Your older brother is here to pick you up."  
  
A very curious, yet happy Dawn quickly gathered her stuff and headed for the door only to be stopped by Ms. Bullard clearing her throat again, "Oh Ms. Summers, I'll expect you to be here early in the morning to take the makeup test."  
  
Dawn nodded with a grim expression before heading out of the classroom. As she walked down the hall she started to worry. {What if something's happened to Buffy....or Mom.}  
  
She hurried to the front of the school and pushed her way through the doors to find Xander sitting outside on the ledge with his back turned.  
  
"Xander?"  
  
"The one and only." Xander said, turning around and looking at Dawn.  
  
"Xander, is everyone okay? My mom...she isn't...I mean, she's okay right?"  
  
"Whoa, whoa, calm down. She's fine."  
  
"Buff..."  
  
"Her too."  
  
"Then...then why are you here? Why did you pull me out of class?"  
  
"Well, I just wanted to show my favourite Summer's a day out on the town. Sooo, what do you say?"  
  
"I don't know Xander. I'm really in the middle of an important test and it wouldn't be right."  
  
"Yeah, I guess not. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to go to the mall all by myself with this $5,000 limit credit card." Xander said as he made a move to turn around.  
  
"Well, m-maybe I should go...you know, to be like your credit card sponsor."  
  
"If you think that's best." Xander said as Dawn flew past him to get in his car, the only problem was his car wasn't there.  
  
"Uh, Xander?"  
  
"Yeah Dawnie."  
  
"Where's your car and more importantly, why did you just open the door of that red porsche?"   
  
...................  
  
Sunnydale Mall  
1:25 P.M.  
  
  
"Dawn, you are evil pure and simple."  
  
"What?" Dawn asked with an innocent expression as she stood in front of a slumped over Xander who was currently carrying eight sacks filled with six different tops, five pairs of pants, four sets of earrings, three purses, two different perfumes and one um...limited edition Backstreet Boys CD in which Xander had no idea where it had came from.  
  
"I'm going to get something to drink, do you want anything?" Dawn asked as she looked over at one of the restaurants in the mall.  
  
"That depends on if my arms can reach my face to let me drink it." Xander said dropping all eight sacks as he sat on one of the benches in the mall, exhaling.  
  
"Be back in a sec." she said walking over to the restaurant.  
  
Despite his tingling limbs, Xander watched her with a smile.   
  
It seemed like Dawn was enjoying herself and it made Xander feel really good. She had just recently learned she was the key constructed into human form by monks, that could open portals and possibly destroy the earth if used by someone in such a manner and wouldn't you know it, she just happened to live in a town with the largest destroy the world population.   
  
Xander had the far too recent image of Dawn walking into the Summer's residence asking what she was with cuts on her arms pop into his head. He tried to shake the images, instead focusing on her smiling image of just a few minutes ago. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her smile like that. The next thing he knew it that smile was standing right in front of him again with two large drinks.  
  
"Uh, Xander are you okay?"  
  
"Huh... what?" Xander asked looking at Dawn dumbfounded for a second before coming out of it,  
"Yeah, I'm fine. How about you? Are you enjoying yourself?"  
  
The act of Dawn throwing herself into his arms, almost spilling the drinks in the process, answered his question, "If I was only about three years older." she said hugging him.  
  
"What, you're that eager to vote?" Xander said as they withdrew from their hug, while she handed him his drink and then a slight punch to the arm.   
  
"Ow, Summer's strength alert!" Xander said as he grabbed his arm.  
  
Dawn slightly smiled before looking down at the sacks and back up at Xander, "How are you going to pay for all this? I mean, won't this get you in trouble with Anya?"  
  
"It'll be our little secret, besides....." Xander cut himself off as he saw a familiar person walk into a department store across the mall.  
  
"Uh, Dawn wait here, I'll be right back." he said as a wicked smile crept up on his face.  
  
"Umm, okay." Dawn said as she took a swig of her cola and watched Xander enter the antique shop across the mall.  
  
As he entered the store Xander watched her like a predator does his prey.   
  
{Oh yeah, it's pay back time missy}  
  
"Excuse me." Xander said as a blond haired lady, dressed in a red blouse and black pants turned to face him.   
  
"No thank you, I don't need any help." she said dismissing Xander as she turned back around.  
  
"No, no I'm not an employee of the store ma'am. I just saw you from across the mall and I couldn't help but to notice your hair. It's so...so ravishly beautiful."  
  
"R-really? Oh..." The woman said with a slight, nervous smile to Xander's compliment as she dabbed at her hair with her left hand.  
  
"You see, I work for an ad agency out of L.A. called uh,..." Xander's gaze went slightly to the left at an item on the shelf as he kept his smile in check before continuing, "Angel Inc. and we're looking for someone that has that special something and youuu...I'm sorry what was your name again?"  
  
"Oh, uh...Katrina, but you can call me Kat." she said adding a little something to the word Kat as she held out her hand to Xander who took ahold of it while kissing the top of her hand, trying to hold back his disgust.  
  
"Angel Inc.? I've never heard of that name before. Is your agency new?" Katrina asked with curiosity.  
  
"Well, yes and no. You see we merged with another company and changed the name. The new owner thought his name would be more fitting for the company." Xander shakes head before continuing, "I'm just glad the board members talked him out of going with that hair gel idea."  
  
After receiving a frown from the woman, Xander continued, "Anyway, I'd like for you to come into our photo shoot next Friday. How does that sound?"  
  
"That sounds wonderful! Thank you." she says as Xander tells her an address that he hopes doesn't sound too made up.   
  
"No, thank you." Xander says, making a move to leave before turning back around to face the woman, "Oh, I almost forgot. What if you need to get in touch with me. How stupid of me." He says feeling around his pockets as if he's looking for something, "Well, I don't seem to have any of my business cards with me at the moment, but maybe, oh I don't know, maybe you have a way I could reach you in case something comes up with the shoot and we have to reschedule."  
  
"Oh, yeah...sure." the woman says hesitantly before digging into her purse and pulling out a piece of paper as she writes her name, address and cell number down on it before handing it to Xander.  
  
"Ok, thank you Katrina....Kat." Xander corrected, drawing a smile from the woman.  
  
"Will I see you again? Perhaps at the shoot or something?"  
  
"Oh, I don't think you have to worry about that. I guarantee our paths will cross again." Xander said excusing himself as he walked out of the store looking down at the piece of paper with a wicked smile, however, when he looked back up his smile started to fade as he looked across the mall at Dawn.....and the boy she was talking to.   
  
Xander's smile returned a little as he saw the way Dawn was shyly looking down at the ground while she talked to the boy. The slight smile faded, however, when he saw the boy reach out and slightly touch Dawn's stomach....  
  
Xander almost became Xandelus as his soul fought against the urge to go other there and maul the boy in front of Dawn.  
  
"So, y-you think I should, huh?" Dawn said as she blushed looking down at the her belly button.  
  
"Should what?" Xander asked as he came up beside Dawn startling her a bit as she jumped.  
  
"U-uh nothing." Dawn said before looking back and forth between the boy in front of her and Xander, then finally resting her eyes back towards the ground.  
  
"I just said she should get her belly button pierced. It would be wicked cool." the boy said looking at Xander who at that moment had a nice visual of the boy's head stuck on post like the enemy use to do to those they killed back in mid-evil times.  
  
"Yeah, that would be wouldn't it." Xander stated without enthusiasm before reaching his hand out to the boy, "Name's Xander."  
  
The boy reached out and accepted Xander's hand with one of his own, "Kevin...oww, nice grip." he said shaking his hand from the pain as he removed it from Xander's grasp before continuing, "Sooo, you're like her brother or something?"  
  
Dawn laughed a little, "No, he's just a friend of my sister."  
  
"Yeah you know, your sister. The one who likes violence." Xander said not taking a single eye off of Kevin.  
  
Dawn noticed a knot forming in Kevin's throat.  
  
"Say Kevin..." Xander said with a little too much enthusiasm for Dawn's liking, "Would you like to come along with Dawn and I?"  
  
"Uh, w-where, where are you going?" Kevin asked as Dawn watched the knot being swallowed.  
  
"Well, first I have to swing by the shop and pickup that Chainsaw that I need for tomorrow's job I've got lined up, then perhaps we could go to the movies or something. I hear the digitally remastered version of Psycho is playing."  
  
"Ah...well, I just remembered that I have to....um, get home and uhh...do some homework. Yeah gotta hit the books, get an education you know." Kevin said with a shaky laugh while backing up as he looked at Dawn, "I-I'll see you later." before turning tail and walking away as fast as he could without it being called a sprint.  
  
"Bye." Xander said waving with a smile before turning towards Dawn as his smile faded upon her glare.  
  
"What?" Xander said as Dawn began stomping off towards the mall exit with Xander in tow calling out her name. 


	5. Deja Vu Part 5

Title: Deja Vu  
  
Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to UPN, Joss, Fox, etc....  
  
Distribution: You can put it wherever you want as long as it's a happy place very far from B/S.   
  
Summary: Xander realizes that he's reliving the same day over and over again. Now that he knows, what will he do?  
  
Setting: Season 5, right before I Was Made to Love You.  
  
Rating: Nothing worse than the show.... is that a good thing?   
  
  
Dedication: To Ozmandayus. This part is dedicated for him because I think I put him through hell   
a few months back with a rumor of a fic that I had written going around. Pal, when that fic is   
written you'll be the first to see it. :)  
  
  
  
Part 5  
  
  
  
Magic Box  
7:55 A.M.  
  
  
Things happen for one reason or another. We try to explain them, but sometimes there are no explanations. Sometimes we must just accept things for what they are no matter how irritating it can be. This was the case for Rupert Giles.   
  
"Damnit!" Giles said out loud as the books started tumbling down from the shelf.   
  
Xander was supposed to help out Buffy with the training today so that Giles could have some free time to clean up some of the new inventory he'd received in earlier in the week. He had arrived earlier than usual because he wanted to get as much of the inventory done as possible before the store opened up. However, right now that wasn't looking good.   
  
The bell above the door rang, drawing Giles' attention. {Wasn't that locked?}   
  
Buffy walked in and Giles gave her a slight smile before turning back to his task of gathering up the fallen books.  
  
"Giles, has Xander stopped by?" Buffy asked, walking up to the counter, leaving the front door standing open.  
  
"Huh,...ah, no. Why?" Giles asked looking up for a brief moment.  
  
"Well, it's just I went by his place to wake him up and he wasn't there. Don't you think that's strange?"  
  
"Buffy, people do sometimes like to get up early. Maybe he just wanted to take Anya out for an early morning breakfast or something."  
  
"I guess," she said grumbling a little bit as she leaned against the counter, "but it's not like Xander to get up this early unless it's half price doughnut day."  
  
"Well, maybe in the past, but Xander isn't the same kid you knew in high school. He has responsibilities now, a place to pay for, he's working for a living, and steady girlfriend. In essence, he's growing up into a mature young man who...." Giles was cut off by the loud roar of an engine right outside of the shop, making it impossible to hear himself talk. "Good Lord, what is that noise?" he asked getting up and following Buffy to the open door.  
  
As Giles made his way outside he looked directly into the sun and he briefly thought that the he'd been blinded again because there in front of Buffy and him, sat Alexander Lavelle Harris on a motorcycle with the engine purring loudly. {I must consult my books}  
  
"Hey, anyone want a ride?" Xander said with a smile through his shades.  
  
"Uh, Xander, what are you doing on a motorcycle?" Buffy asked with an amused expression on her face while looking at her friend.  
  
"This is not just any motorcycle Buff, this is a VRSC V-Rod Harley Davidson with 115 horsepower, and a liquid-cooled fuel-injected engine," Xander said with a smile. "I wanted to get a 1957 Harley Sportster model, but they said the fastest they could get it would be in two days," he added, disappointedly.  
  
Buffy raised her eyebrows with a slight nod towards him, "Too bad," she said before continuing. "Uh, Xander, where did you get the money to pay for this?"  
  
"Pfft...money's not an issue when you're talking about beauty Buff," he said before patting the seat behind him with a smile, "So, what to come for a ride?"   
  
"I think I'll pass, but thanks."   
  
Xander nodded, "Giles?"   
  
Giles' mouth was open but no words were coming out as he stared at the beauty that was the Harley Davidson motorcycle.  
  
"I think he's too caught up in the bike's glare, probably remembering his past activities," Buffy said with a smile.  
  
"Well," Xander said, gunning the engine, "just pray it has nothing to do with him and your mom on a hood of a police car."  
  
Within two seconds Xander was down the street, leaving a very pissed off slayer's glare in his tracks.  
  
  
************************  
  
  
Willy's Bar  
11:00 A.M.  
  
  
"Mornin', uh, gentlemen!" Willy greeted the three demons who had just sat down at the bar. Their tongues whipped out at a few flies that flew by, making Willy flinch slightly. One of his new bartenders walked behind him, glancing back and laughing nervously. Willy stopped him with an arm on his shoulder, "See, Steve, that's why I love Maulwort demons. They keep the place clean of vermin. Why don't you set these very fine customers up with the special. Oh, and throw in a few flies from the mosquito catcher in the back okay?"   
  
"The special? Since when do we have a special?" Steve asked. He was trying to juggle empty bottles of beer and a glass with some sort of demon blood substance left in it that Willy hoped didn't touch Steve's hand or else he'd have to find yet another bartender.  
  
"Just do it okay," Willy said with a nervous laugh at Steve before turning towards the three demons that just stared back at him in disgust. "You guys just sit back and," he flinched again as the one on the end flicked his tongue out and ate another bug, "enjoy the appetizers," he finished before walking down to the very end of the bar.  
  
Willy started wiping the bar down with a rag just before looking up to see a man with a huge smirk on his face sit across from him.  
  
"Mister, if you want to order something just go down to the other end of the bar and Steve over there will help you out," Willy said as he continued to wipe down the bar without even looking up at the man.  
  
"You know, I must say I'm rather disappointed. I mean, Willy's is rather famous for it's business in this quaint little town, yet, here I am, and no business," the man said, seated on a barstool right in front of Willy.  
  
Willy looked up and gave this man the once over. There was something he didn't like about him. Hell, he didn't like anything about him. Willy tossed the dirty rag into the trash behind him before turning back around to face the man, "The only business I run here is one of refreshments pal."  
  
"Hmm... really?"   
  
The British accent was quickly getting on Willy's nerves, "Listen, I run a clean establishment here in this quaint little town," he said, overemphasizing the word quaint, "so unless you're here for a drink or something to eat then you're out of luck."   
  
The man slowly leaned over the counter and quietly said, "Do you know how many times I've watched a man eat his own eyes?"   
  
At a comment like that a man would usually laugh, but living on the Hellmouth along with the look Willy was seeing in this man's eyes didn't put him in the laughing mood. He slightly shook his head and swallowed the lump in his throat.  
  
"Well then," the man said pulling back with a smile, "are you open for business now?"  
  
  
*******************  
  
  
Rockford Road  
10:25 P.M.  
  
  
"And that's for dodge ball!" Xander shouted as he tossed a basketball into the house while standing in the doorway looking inside the home before turning and walking away with a smile.   
  
For pretty much the whole day Xander had been going to almost everyone's house who at one time or another in his life had walked all over him. He got on his motorcycle and pulled away from his former Sunnydale high gym teacher. {It's funny how a day that started out as bad as this one did had now became one that was probably the best, most carefree day of my life} he thought to himself, remembering the massage he'd had about four hours earlier. Hilda had magic hands, a sensual voice, and had managed to work out every kink and sore muscle he'd gotten since he started working construction. Sure, he had to go about forty five miles to visit the most local health spa, but it was definitely worth it. At the moment Alexander Lavelle Harris felt the most relaxed he had in a long time. Of course, the fact that he was doing nearly a hundred miles an hour on his Harley didn't hurt matters.   
  
As he flew around a corner Xander heard a siren from behind him start up and he looked in his mirror to see a police car beginning to give chase. Usually Xander's first instinct would be to pull over and beg for forgiveness from the officer. Actually, his first instinct wouldn't have been to go over a hundred miles an hour, but this wasn't any usual situation so instead Xander smiled and whipped around another corner with the police car trying to keep up. Within a matter of minutes Xander had two cars on his tail and he could hear more sirens coming from a few blocks away. If he didn't do something quick this joyride would be over. Seeing one of Sunnydale's many cemeteries coming up, he made a sharp turn into it as the police cars came to a stop near the curb with the officers getting out and trying to give chase on foot through the cemetery. However, unless these highly respected lawmen were suddenly going to do a Nutty Professor act and lose over a hundred pounds in about five seconds they weren't going to be successful at catching Xander.  
  
Xander zipped around tombstones as he rode the motorcycle through the graveyard. In a matter of minutes the officers were nowhere in sight. He slowly came to a stop and looked back and then around him, but saw nothing except the darkness of night and the sounds of crickets chirping along with it.  
  
Xander looked down at his watch and saw that it read 10:45, knowing that he had just about twenty five minutes or so until the day started over. Then, he realized what cemetery he was in. As he looked at the one of the crypts a conversation he had with Buffy from just a few days ago sprung to mind. {Or was it a few days earlier} Xander thought to himself trying to remember. Then the conversation that seemed to take place so long ago, he remembered with startling clarity. He suddenly got a very serious look on his face and he stepped of his motorcycle.  
  
  
*******************  
  
  
Inside Spike's Crypt  
a couple of minutes earlier  
  
  
Spike was sitting down on top of his tomb and trying to read a book. However, although he may have been looking at the words, they swam in front of his eyes because all he could think about was her. She haunted his thoughts more and more with each passing day.   
  
"Damn her!" Spike said tossing the book onto the floor as he got off of the tomb, "What does it take for her to see that I love her? I know she wants me. I can see it in her eyes. She keeps trying to deny that something is between us, but she knows just as well as I do that I'm right."   
  
He looked off into the darkness of the crypt and a smile started to break out over his face. Soon enough, the smile became a laugh and the laugh turned to near-hysterics before a calm came over him. He ran his hand over his hair, grabbed his duster and made his way towards the crypt door.  
  
Just as he opened his door he felt himself being pushed back inside the crypt, "Hey, just who do you think you're..."  
  
Before Spike could even finish his sentence his face was met with a fist and he went down before looking back up with his back against the eastern wall of the crypt, "What the bloody hell was that for?"  
  
"That was for Buffy. This," Xander said pulling Spike to his feet, "is for me," he finished, thrusting the stake into Spike's undead heart. Xander looked down at the pile of ashes for but a moment before turning and walking out of the crypt. The next thing Xander knew, it was morning again and he pulled himself out of bed.  
  
After getting out of bed he went to the bathroom and turned on the water in the shower. He didn't know why he took showers anymore because every morning he just woke up the same way he did before, clean and feeling refreshed, but at the moment he just wanted to feel that water as if it could wash him away.   
  
After finishing his shower, Xander made his way to same place he had been the past couple of loops.   
  
"EagleRider Motorcycle Rental, how may I help you?" the man said walking up to Xander with a smile.  
  
"Yes, I'd like to rent the VRSC V-Rod Harley you've got," Xander said.  
  
"How did you know we had a VRSC? We just got...."  
  
Xander cut the man off before he could finish and he gave the guy his credit card number. After the man went behind the counter and ran it through he looked back up at Xander, "Well, it looks as if you've got yourself a Harley sir. How long will you be needing to rent it for?"  
  
"One day is all I need. Oh, and throw in those sunglasses," Xander said pointing toward the shades near the counter before continuing, "While you're at it, throw in a one hundred dollar bonus for yourself."   
  
The man smiled at Xander, "Thank you sir, that's ...that's very kind of you," he said. After Xander filled out the obligatory paperwork, he handed him the keys to the Harley as well as the shades on the counter to Xander. "So, where do you plan on taking her, sir? I mean, not that it's any of my business, but she has to be back here by morning."  
  
Xander turned around with the keys in hand as he made his way to the door. Before opening it though, he turned around and looked at the man, "Don't worry, by tomorrow morning she'll be back in your possession and it'll be like I never even rented it," Xander said as he turned back around towards the door. Something just to his right caught his eye and he stopped.  
  
"Say, how much for the hat?" Xander asked with a smile.  
  
"Go ahead take it, it's yours," the man said.  
  
"Thanks," Xander said taking the hat off the rack and walking out the door.  
  
As he walked out the door Xander put on the shades and looked up at the clear blue sky for a moment. He put on the hat that read "I Love L.A." and smiled as he got on the motorcycle and pulled out of the lot.  
  
==============================  
  
  
This part was a little shorter than I intended, but the next part   
will be probably be pretty long. You'll see Angel and company as   
well as maybe a little Faith.   
  
  
TC 


	6. Deja Vu Part 6

Title: Deja Vu

Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to UPN, Joss, Fox, etc....

Distribution: If you want you could distribute it to the writers of ME. Maybe I'll get some money so that I can quit my job. I'll even cut you in ... say .. 15%? 

Setting: Season 5, right before I Was Made to Love You. Some BX overtones but they will be towards the end of the fic. Just as the saying goes, the best comes to those who wait :) well, unless it's those ketchup bottles at a restaurant. Damn things never come out on their own.

Author's Notes: Special thanks to my beta reader Monica. She makes my English speaking good. Also to Ozmandayus, Wicked Ray, Joanne, Brooke, and Lori. You guys consistently write some of the best BX fics out there. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and ideas on paper with everyone. 

Now to chapter 6 of Déjà Vu …

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sun-Mart Truck Stop

Just Outside of Los Angeles

9:40 A.M.

"Give me a pack of the Winston Lights."

The young cashier nodded as he retrieved the pack of cigarettes and tossed them onto the counter. "Twenty five sixty two with the gas," he said while yawning. 

It had been a long morning for Zach Roper and it had only begun. He was forced to work not only his usually graveyard shift but would have to cover the morning shift as well. Two of their cashiers had already quit and Mike, who usually covers the morning shift, hadn't shown up yet. He couldn't really blame those who had quit. This sort of job was something that few had patience for. No benefits and there weren't many opportunities to advance other than assistant manager or manager. The current manager, Tommy Greyson, was forty five years old and had been with the store for fourteen years, eight as the manager. The amount of stress that Mr. Greyson was under each and everyday to meet quota and profit from those who owned the truck stop was, Zach imagined, unbearable. No, Zach didn't want to advance in this job one bit. 

{Just give me my pay check and let me be on my way.} He thought, while the truck driver paid for his gas and cigarettes before leaving. 

Zach looked up at the clock and sighed before sitting down and putting on his earphones. He turned, putting in a CD and starting blaring the music as he picked up the comic book that had been keeping him company for the last few hours.

He almost didn't hear the bells chiming as the figures walked in. Five of them dressed in all black leather suits. Each of them still wearing their biker helmets with the black tinted covers over the face shield. Zach looked up from his comic book just in time to see the last of them closing the door. He took off his earphones and lay down the comic book as he got up cautiously. The one who had entered first, removed his helmet, now standing just on the other side of the counter. Zach didn't even move. He couldn't. 

"C-can I help you?" 

"Yes, you sure can," the one nearest to him said while the others spread throughout the store. Zach noticed a scar that started just above the man's left eye and ran down the side of his cheek. However, it wasn't the horrible looking scar or even the gold tooth that shined through with the smile that made Zach jump, but the fact that the man's facial features changed in a blink of an eye. Gone was the one scar running down the side of the man's face. In its place, many ridges and horrible glowing yellow eyes. Eyes that bore into the young cashier's own as he backed up from the counter. Startled for a bit but not for long, Zach acted as he bent down under the counter before coming back up with a rifle. The same rifle that Mr. Greyson had put under there since they were robbed six months ago. He remembered at the time that he didn't feel comfortable with it being there but now he thanked whoever was listening for those thieves from six months ago. 

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Zach said, his hand shaking the rifle a little more than he would've liked.

"Is that right? Hear that guys? He wants us to leave," he said while the others chuckled.

"I don't know, I think I'd like to break him in," a woman's voice said, coming from the back. Zach watched as the person moved around the others and removed her helmet, in the process shaking free her dark, auburn hair past her shoulders. "Maybe even apart," she finished smiling.

"Just give us the money kid and we'll be on our way. No one has to get hurt."

"But you said we'd kill the people inside and then take what..."

The man with the scar sighed and turned around towards the one who interrupted him, "Luther! Damnit, do you ever listen? I told you to keep your mouth shut. Now look what you've done," he said gesturing towards Zach. "You've scared the blood bag. Now he's all startled and you know what happened last time," he finished with a sigh before turning back around. "Sorry, my younger brother just likes to talk. Family huh? They never listen. What can you do? Well, except eat them," he said shrugging. 

"Excuse me? Ahem, excuse me? Could you turn on pump number two?"

After a second of confusion seeing this man standing at the door in this situation Zach's mouth functioned again, "Q-quick, get out of here. Go c-call the cops!"

"Oh, he doesn't want to do that," the woman said as she moved out from behind the men of the group. "I think he wants to play," she said looking back at Zach. Her expression made Zach feel as if he was back in high school asking Kelly Thomas out just before she laughed in his face and moved on to her next potential male victim.

"Gee, I don't know. I would like to but I've got some things to do," the young man in front of the doors said.

"Oh come on, it'll be fun," she said taking a step closer to him, her leather pants seemingly hugging her hips tighter each step.

The young man looked as if he was considering the offer as he looked around at the others and then looked to the back of the store, "Fun eh?" he said, the woman nodding with a smile.

"It'll be a wild ride," she said moving up to him and rubbing the front of his chest just as he took a step inside, closing the door behind him, "I promise."

"Are you crazy? Get out of here man! These guys are nuts!" the cashier said still holding the gun on the group.

"Oh, I don't know. They seem cool to me," the young man said as the woman purred while sliding up closer to him, her body making contact with his. 

The other four guys started chuckling as they turned back to the cashier.

"Look's like Trina's scored tonight. Too bad for you though, that I'm not into guys." 

"Uh, I could ..." Luther said raising his hand. 

"Luther! Not now!"

At that moment there came a horrible noise from the door. A shrieking noise that almost made Zach drop the rifle. He looked up just in time to see the woman evaporate into thin air, the young man holding something where the woman was just a second ago. 

"Sorry, but you're probably too cool for me," Zach heard the young man say. 

The four guys who were with the girl just stood in shock for a moment. However, their expressions still didn't match the one on Zach's face. So much was Zach's shock that what happened next went by in what seemed like slow motion. Zach's eyes followed the two men behind the one with the scar as they moved from their position for the first time since they had came in. There was no warning for Zach, for anyone. No scream of rage. No one telling them to move. Nothing. Nothing except for their faces. Faces that seemed to shift faster than the men themselves moved. The same face that Zach got a view of close up when the first of them entered and removed his helmet. Those faces. Those horrible faces. If Mr. Greyson had been here he would've called them the face of the devil, that much Zach was sure of. Another thing he was sure of was that soon those same faces would be coming for him. The only thing that prevented that was that their attention was drawn elsewhere at the moment. Zach's attention was there as well as he watched the young man get thrown through one of the doors, shattering the glass everywhere around the three people now on the ground just outside. Just when Zach thought his heart couldn't beat any faster he saw the two men on top of the young man start to smoke and eventually catch on fire. 

Zach watched the men instantly begin to realize that they were both on fire as they tried to scurry back into the store. One thing after another came in front of Zach's eyes as he struggled to keep up with the action in front of him. For some reason one of the men on fire was having a harder time getting to his feet than the other. Then he saw why. There on the ground with shattered glass all around him, and some on top of him, was the young man grabbing a hold of the struggling man. Zach watched as the young man holding onto one of them, pulled the screaming man back towards him and then on top of him. There was so much movement going on between the two, trying to win the advantage on the ground that Zach could hardly tell who was on fire and who was not. Just then he heard the same horrible shrieking sound that he had heard a few minutes prior with the woman. Then there was only one. 

While this was unfolding in front of Zach's eyes, the other man who had been on fire was inside the store now, looking around in a fit of madness as the flames danced upon his head. Zach's attention went back and forth between the young man outside still on the ground and the man who had just ran back inside. Then Zach's attention was directed to a voice. A voice that his mind, as well as his eyes, tried to catch up to during the action in front of him as the voice screamed out at the one on fire. A moment later Zach flinched a bit as the man on fire was dowsed with water from a container full of sodas that was sitting in the middle of the aisle. Zach's attention was once again drawn to the sound of glass crunching just outside the store as he looked to see the young man moving. Seeing this made him want to smile despite the craziness of the situation in front of him taking place but he couldn't. He couldn't because of the craziness of the situation. This was something that you saw on TV or in the movies, not at the Sun-Mart. Yet there it was, right in front of him as he watched the young man get back to his feet amongst the broken glass. 

"My face!" yelled the one who had just been dowsed with water, still wincing on the floor.

"I am going to enjoy killing you," Zach heard the one with the scar say in the direction of the young man. 

The only response from the young man was him pulling out something from his pocket. The next thing Zach knew the object was flung by the young man towards the one directly in front of the counter. Then he watched as the object simply bounced off the person's body and directly on the ground. Zach looked down at the object and he couldn't help but almost chuckle. A piece of wood? 

"Okay, it's obvious that's never going to work for me." Zach heard the young man say. The next thing that Zach knew, the young man was being flung down one of the aisles, sliding along the floor before stopping from the impact of hitting the wall at the end of the aisle. It happened so fast that Zach could've sworn he didn't even see the one who flung the young man move. Yet it still wasn't as fast as his finger pulling the trigger on his gun. Then he pulled it again as his ears rung from the shots until all that could be heard was clicking. Then there he was facing his target. A target that didn't seem to remember that gunshots were suppose to be deadly. Zach watched as the guy who he had shot just a brief moment before slowly starting getting to his feet and snarling at him.

"You're next," he said looking at the cashier before turning towards the young man on the floor down the aisle. "But you, you're firs..." 

Zach flinched as he watched the guy look directly in front of him and then down towards his chest where the object was piercing him. Then in an instant, he too was gone. The young man stood there for a second dusting himself off before looking back up at the only one left of the group. The same survivor who had just gotten himself off of the ground, obviously still reeling from the burns to his head as he looked around at the scene before him. 

"I'm afraid we are going to have to ask you to leave."

Zach looked back at the guy who just stood there for a brief moment before looking around at the scene before him once again. He watched as the guy retrieved his helmet from the ground and put it on, wincing from his burns still evident to his head while doing so. Once his helmet was on, the guy took one last look at the young man before running out through the shattered front doors of the store. Zach just stood in amazement for a second listening to the guy start his motorcycle before driving off down the road.

"Wha... Wha... What just happened?" 

The young man smiled for a second before looking to his left and picking up an item. He then walked up to the counter where Zach stood on the other side.

"How much I owe you?" the young man asked, flopping the bag of chips on top of the counter.

"Wha? .. How much? A-are you crazy? Do you know what just happened here? I-I... I have to call the cops. Call Mr. Greyson. Oh God, he's going to kill me! I-I... what... who were those guys? They were... they just..."

"How much?"

"And you just... just ... what did you do to them? You... you just... you just let one of them go."

"Relax, he won't get far. Three miles tops. I just about emptied their gas tanks before coming inside. Which reminds me, don't worry about pump number two," the young man said smiling.

"Three miles? Wha..."

"You know what, just keep the change," the young man said tossing a fifty on the counter before turning around to leave. Zach looked down at the bill on the counter and then back up just in time to see the young man turn back around towards him near the shattered doors, "Oh, and you may want to have someone take a look at the slushy machine. Tasted kind of ... uh, slushy the last time. Made me sick the whole day."

Zach looked over at the slushy machine slowly and then back at the young man, "Who the hell are you?"

The young man stared back at the cashier for a minute before his face broke out into a slight grin. Then shaking his head no to himself, the young man turned around and walked out through the shattered doors. 

Once outside he got back on top of his Harley, retrieving the shades from the bike handle as he started up the engine. {I'm Batman would've been way too cliché' to say} Xander thought to himself as he shook his head once again before riding out into the same direction that the vamp had, passing along the way a sign that read Los Angeles twenty miles.

*******************

Current Angel Investigations Office

Downtown Los Angeles

1:25 P.M.

Those around you help you become who you are. They help shape and mold you. Over time they, along with your own experiences, help you become the person you are today. It happens so fast you don't even know it. You come into the light and everything is so new. You're like a kid in a candy store. You think you know it all and then someone steals your candy from you. That is when you find out that you are not as skilled as you thought you were. So you learn. You grow. Take the knowledge that others give to you and run with it. Until one day it is your time to shine. 

"No!"

Unfortunately for one Charles Gunn and his beloved Los Angeles Lakers, today was not that day.

"You have to be kidding me! He got all ball!" Gunn yelled at the screen as he watched the referee call a foul on the Lakers.

In fact, the past week or so hadn't been great either. The gang had been fired by Angel, who apparently had his own vendetta going against Wolfam & Hart. Wesley had been shot less than a week ago saving Gunn no less, and business was terribly slow. There were only two cases since they had opened their own office over a week ago. The first was the case that Wesley's friend had them look into, which didn't bring in any money. And then there was the one they were working on currently which involved a couple that had brought in their child to them because she had a third eye growing in the back of her head. The child had apparently been bitten by a demon late one night and now they were trying to find a cure. Wesley had some leads, but case was still undetermined. Leaning back into the couch with a sigh, Gunn was wishing that he could find that demon because the referee was definitely in need. 

"It could be worse," Wesley said from his wheelchair, watching alongside his brother in arms.

"Could be worse. How could it be worse?" Gunn asked looking at Wesley just as the whistle could be heard again on the television.

"That's how," Wesley said as Gunn turned back towards the TV in time to see Shaquille O'Neal foul out of the game. 

Gunn added a few more expletives as he got up and turned the TV off.

"Why are you getting so agitated? It's just a game. A game where grown men like to throw a round object into a small shaped circle if I might add," Wesley said turning his wheelchair around to face Gunn. "Besides, it was taped from last night. You knew the outcome."

"Yeah, but you can't truly feel the impact of the game unless you've seen it, you know?"

"Just don't let Cordelia in on that fact or else I'm afraid you will feel the impact," Wesley said rolling himself to and around the desk in the corner.

"Man, this is not what I signed up for. Sitting around when we should be out there kicking demon ass," Gunn said a little agitated, walking out into the middle of the room.

"What did you sign up for?"

"Not this, that's for sure."

Wesley wheeled himself around as he faced the young man.

"I signed up because I wanted to make a difference. I thought Angel..."

"Angel isn't here anymore. He's out of the equation. None of us signed up for this but it's what we have left. Us. Angel left his post. We won't. I won't." 

After a moment Gunn exhaled and nodded his head, "And neither will I," he said before extending his hand out to Wesley who took it with a firm hand of his own, "I'm sorry man, I'm just a little on edge."

"No problem. It's understandable with all that's been going on. And if it's any consolation I do believe the big chief did get all ball."

"Big fella, not chief." Gunn corrected.

"Oh right, yes."

"Besides, who's going to watch your scrawny ass if I leave," Gunn said, earning a chuckle of his own from Wesley.

"Definitely not me that's for sure," Cordelia said coming into the office, shutting the door behind her.

"It's about time. I'm starving," Gunn said heading over and taking the pizza boxes out of Cordy's arms before placing them onto the desk.

"Business better start picking up pretty soon because I'm tired of driving clear across the city to get the food just because we don't have enough money to tip the delivery driver," she said sitting down and taking off her shoes. A sigh following, "Speaking of which, what happened to the big game that you couldn't leave, thus being the reason for my achy feet."

Gunn just glared at Cordy while Wesley spoke up, "So pizza huh?" he said wheeling over to one of the pizza boxes and opening it up, "Tell me again why we had to eat pizza this early?"

"Because you can't watch a Laker's game and not have pizza," Gunn said, taking a slice of his pepperoni into his mouth, "Besides, no one told you that you had to eat that crap."

"What anchovy supreme?" 

"It smells like the insides of a fish."

Wesley held the piece up to his mouth, stopping halfway to look at Gunn before taking a bite.

"So any news on the Sharp's little girl and the," Cordy said pointing to the back of her head, "blinking problem?"

"Yes, I believe I may have found the way to reverse the process with a spell. The spell requires a curative charm. One of which I will recieve through the mail tomorrow." Wesley said biting into his piece, Gunn turning away from the scene and shaking his head.

"The mail? What, did you Federal Express it or something?" Cordy asked.

"UPS, actually." 

"What can brown do for you," Gunn said grinning at Cordy while stuffing the last contents of his piece of pizza into his mouth.

"Well, do you think they could send a hot, ripped delivery driver... to catch me when I fall!" she said, grabbing her head as she fell to the ground. Gunn ran to her side in an instant with Wesley following.

Gunn yelled her name but she couldn't hear him. The only thing she could hear was the scream of the young lady she saw. And then the thing that was the reason for the scream as her vision ended.

"Cordy! Are you alright? What did you see?" Gunn said holding her back against his as she caught her bearings.

"A woman. She was being attacked. And let me tell you, this thing was not small."

"So he was like the big fella," Wesley said, drawing a look from Gunn before giving an apologetic look the young man's way.

"Do you know where this is?" Gunn asked looking back at Cordelia.

"Yes."

"Then let's go," Wesley said wheeling around before realizing what he said.

Gunn and Cordelia, now on her feet, looked at the man across the room.

"We'll take care of this thing Wes," Gunn said seeing the hurt on the former watcher's face at not being able to help on this one. Gunn made sure Cordelia was okay and then went over to Wesley, "We'll be okay. Look, if it makes you feel any better I'll call my gang in on this one. Even though they and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things anymore I know they'd be up for a good ole' demon fight. Besides, before long you and I will be out there side by side again," Gunn said, while Wesley nodded, "I wouldn't have it any other way," he said nodding, "Be careful."

"We will," said someone from the front door of the office.

Wesley and Gunn both looked to see a young man standing at the door as Wesley spoke up surprised, "Xander? What are you doing here?"

"Oh God, the world is going to end isn't it?" Cordelia asked.

"Probably, but Giles isn't here giving speeches so I think we're safe for now," Xander said, slightly grinning before receiving a hug from the former Sunnydale cheerleader.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, but why are you here Xander?" Wesley asked.

"Just thought it was about time I dropped in and saw how some of the old gang is doing. Well, actually, I just came to mess with Angel some but since I'm here why not? Which reminds me, who are you?" he asked Gunn's direction for a second before continuing, "And where is dead man walking anyway?" 

"Angel's... well, that's a long story," Wesley said before continuing, "And this is Gunn. He's a partn ... a friend of ours," Wesley said correcting himself. "Gunn, this is ..."

"Xander Harris. So this is the guy you've told us about," Gunn said looking at Cordelia.

"You've talked to them about me?" 

"Only a little. It was a bad month okay," Cordelia said looking at Xander as he nodded slightly with a smile.

"Uh, not that I don't mind this nice reunion or anything but there is a girl out there somewhere who's going to be attacked by a demon tonight," Wesley said.

"He's right. We need to get moving."

Cordelia nodded at Gunn as she took a crossbow from him, "You want to come along? We could use all the help we can get." 

"I'm always up for a little demon hunting. Well, unless the demon is hunting me," Xander said taking a small axe Gunn handed to him.

"You've got your cell Cordy?" Gunn asked as she nodded, "I'll call Rondell and the group. Have them meet us."

"Good, I'll follow you." 

"Follow? Why not ride with us?" Cordelia asked Xander before walking out of the office to see Xander hitching himself up onto the Harley.

"Oh God, the world really is coming to an end isn't it?" was all that Wesley heard Cordelia say as the office door shut behind them.

*******************

Ardmore Park

Los Angeles, CA

7:55 P.M.

"So you're saying that Angel is being harassed by these lawyers? And that they intend on bringing about the end of the world? Man, just when you think stereotypes are wrong," Xander said along side Gunn and Cordelia.

They had been sitting in wait in Ardmore Park for nearly four hours without any signs of trouble. While there, Cordelia started filling Xander in on the Angel situation as well as their own.

"So how did you find us anyway?" Cordelia asked while Gunn continued to scan the park from behind the trees they were taking cover in.

"Well, I went to the address that Buffy had gone to before but no one was there. Well, except for the wino sitting in the alley behind the burnt down place who tried to persuade me he was one of the two old guys who played in Trading Places," he said as Cordelia smiled a bit. "It took me three, I guess you could say, days to find you. One of which I ran into some green looking guy with horns at a bar who made me sing On the Road Again and that is a story that you will never hear."

"You sang?"

"Like I said, never."

Cordelia chuckled to herself for a second before Gunn got her attention, "Wait, here comes someone."

They all three watched as a young woman came out of the shadows while shrieking as a group of men pursued her. The woman only made it a few steps out into the open before one of the men grabbed her from behind and flung her to the ground, the others surrounding her. Gunn, Cordelia and Xander all three did a quick check of each other before diving out from behind the trees and into the fray. Being the first to dart out, Gunn made it to the scene first as he took one of the guys out by surprise with a blow to the back of the head. This alerted the other four to his presence just as Xander and Cordelia came running up next to Gunn. 

"Well, it looks as if our fun just got tripled for the night guys," one of the men said.

"Uh, not that I'm questioning your leaping into the fray here but how are we going to fight them? I mean, our weapons are made for demon fighting. Not really into killing humans here. Even if they are the high on the scum scale ones," Cordelia said quietly to Gunn.

"Uh, I don't think that's going to be a problem," Gunn said, his look drawing the attention towards the men as Cordelia watched them transform into four gray skinned demons, "Your vision. You didn't by chance happen to see more than one demon did you?" 

Cordelia just stood next to him, unable to say a thing. Just when Gunn was about to go on the attack the one who was knocked to the ground by Gunn grabbed Cordelia's leg as she yelped. She was able to pull away from the one on the ground, now in demon form, as soon as Xander brought down his axe onto the arm grabbing a hold of her. The only problem was it was still holding her leg as she fought to get the severed hand off of her leg. Meanwhile Gunn was already on the offensive, swinging his axe at one of the demons. The demon sidestepped him and moved to block his next swing. Gunn came back with a swing at the demon but only succeeded in getting his axe knocked away when the demon blocked his attack. Soon Gunn found himself in the same position as the girl he was trying to save, on the ground as two of the demons started surrounding him. Nearly ten yards away Xander and Cordelia weren't doing that well either as they struggled to fight back the other three fast approaching ones. Then just as one of the demons reached down and grabbed a hold of Gunn, a light flashed upon all of them catching everyone's attention.

It was followed by a huge metallic spear piercing one of the demon's neck as he fell to the ground. Gunn looked up to see a pickup truck's headlights shining on them. There, on top of the truck, was Rondell aiming the weapon that had just taken out one of the demons. Gunn used this distraction to kick the legs out from under the demon holding him. Then getting up himself he kicked up his axe lying on the ground beside him, and in one motion turned around and chopped off the demon's head. 

Ten feet away Xander brought his axe down for a finishing blow on one of his demons as the two others took off into the night. 

"Follow them!" Rondell yelled out behind him, two other trucks moving out beside him, then taking persuit of the demons.

Rondell got out of the back of his truck as he walked over to Gunn, "I'm always saving your ass man," he said, Gunn and him exchanging eye contact for a minute before Rondell broke a smile, Gunn's soon following. 

They clasped hands together while patting each other on the back before pulling away, "Yeah, well, now you only owe me five lives," Gunn said.

"Please, five. You know I owe I only owe you two," he said earning a nod from Gunn, "Sorry bout' being late. Had a nest of vamps we had to take care of first. Got here as soon as we could. So," he said turning towards Cordelia and Xander, "this your posse now? One man and a frightened woman?"

"Hey, I am not a frightened woman! I'm his frightened co-worker," Cordelia said before Gunn interrupted, "It's a long story."

"Angel's busy trying to kill lawyers," Xander said nodding matter of factly. 

"Evidently not long enough," Gunn muttered under his breath.

"Angel? The holier than thou Angel?" Rondell said snorting, "I thought he wasn't into that scene. I knew it was only a matter of time until that vamp showed his true colors. And you still hang with him?"

"Not anymore."

Rondell looked back at Xander and Cordelia with a slight chuckle, "Yeah, seems you've moved on to bigger and brighter things," he said receiving a glare from Gunn, "Well, if you don't mind I've got a posse of my own to catch up on."

"Knock yourself out."

Rondell looked back at Gunn almost as if trying to read his face before slightly snorting, "Well, if you ever need someone to save your ass again, give me a call. I'm always up for a good fight," he said before turning around and getting back onto the truck as it drove off.

"Poster childs for problem teens much?" Cordelia said watching the truck leave.

"What does that suppose to mean?"

"Uh, I think it means poster child for problem teens," she said looking blankly at him.

Gunn turned away.

"I don't get it. What's your deal?"

"You're right. You don't get it," he said turning back around towards her.

"Why do you continue to take up for them?"

Gunn just shook his head, "You don't get what's it like being out on the streets. Having to live your life day by day without any shelter except abandon buildings and then having to make those same buildings into strongholds against vampires. Having to scrounge around for food any way possible, even if it means doing what you have to do to survive. Things that you don't want to do. Not only for yourself but for those around you as well."

"They chose that life. They chose to fight demons. No one forced them to take up that fight."

"I did. I chose for them. I recruited most of those what did you call them, problem teens, into this life. If it weren't for me they would be..."

"Dead," Xander said speaking up for the first time, "They would be dead. Either by the streets or other means. Either way, what you did. By bringing them in like this. It saved them." 

Gunn chuckled, "Saved? Yeah, that's what I did."

"Wake up. You saw the way they treated you? How one of your so called best friends treated you just now. They are not your family. Your family doesn't abandon you like that."

"What? You mean like the way I didn't abandon them to take up fighting demons with a vampire? Or do you mean like the way Angel didn't leave?" 

After he said it, Gunn wanted to take it back. Truth was, he wanted to take a lot of things back but time has a way of sneaking up on you. A way of twisting things so much that they don't make sense anymore until one day you wake up and it's too late. Too late to even get back on the path that you were on. Gunn sighed. He didn't want that to happen here. He wasn't going to allow that to happen here.

"Look Cordelia, I..."

"No. No. You're right. Angel's gone. He's made his decision," she said looking solemn, pausing for a minute before continuing, "I guess we all have our ways of dealing with things. Mine seems to be bitching," she said, letting out a small breath.

"A time honored tradition," Xander said, his comment drawing a slight smile from Cordelia.

"What do you say we get out of here and grab a bite to eat," Gunn said, looking at the two of them.

"Yeah, I could eat. Didn't have time to eat earlier," Cordy said picking up her half broken crossbow from the ground before tossing it into the dumpster near by.

"Pizza?"

"We already had that earlier." Cordelia said as they began walking back to their rides.

"But the Laker's game is coming on in an hour and you can't..."

"Can't watch a Laker's game without pizza. Yeah, yeah, we know," both Xander and Cordelia said in unison.

"Damn straight," Gunn said following them, carrying his axe over his shoulder.

*******************

The Current Angel Investigations

Downtown Los Angeles 

10:53 P.M.

"So you fight alongside the actual slayer? I'm sure you have some stories to tell huh?" Gunn said, sitting in one of the office chairs facing Xander who also was seated, along with Cordelia, Wesley nearby as well.

"Well, alongside wouldn't be the word I'd use. More like behind, but yeah there are stories to be told. Most of which you wouldn't want to write Dr. Seuss books about, though."

Gunn nodded as the Laker game came back from commercial, his attention immediately drawn away from the previous conversation.

"So, how long are you going to be in town for anyway?" Wesley asked.

"Not much longer. Once more maybe. Uh, one more day." he nodded, correcting himself.

"Where are you staying?" Cordelia asked.

Xander shook his head, sort of caught off guard from her question.

"Well then, I insist that you stay here. I'll show you around L.A. tomorrow. It'll be just like old times. Uh, except for the fact that I have never really showed you around before."

"I don't know. I seem to remember being shown around a fair amount of broom closets in my youth," Xander said smiling, drawing Cordelia to roll her eyes a bit before smiling herself.

"So, will you stay?" Wesley asked, glancing a look towards Gunn who at the moment was literally on the edge of his seat watching the game.

Xander leaned forward and out of his chair, "Thanks for the offer, but I have somewhere I have to be ... tomorrow," he said before receiving a hug from Cordelia.

"Well, you take care of yourself and tell the gang back home that I miss them."

Xander gave her a surprised look, "Well, okay, no I don't but work with me here. I am Cordelia Chase after all," she said.

"Same ole' Cordy," Xander said smiling.

"Be safe," Wesley said, shaking hands with Xander. "Nice to meet you Gunn," Xander said turning around, Gunn only passively waving because of his attention completely on the game.

Xander nodded in acknowledgement with a smile before walking to the door. Once at the door he stopped and turned around, "No, you know what?" There's more to this Cordy than meets the eye. Something better." 

Cordelia gave him a look of gratitude for a moment before finally being able to respond, "It's the hair. You like?" she said smiling.

Xander let out a small chuckle, "Yeah, I like. It looks good on you. The hair that is," he said just as the light came to take him back to his bed at the beginning of the morning again.

*******************

California Women's Facility

San Diego, California

2:15 P.M.

Solitary Confinement. 

The single most dreaded thing on the inside. Some may say that the fear of death would be reserved for that mantle but for most that was not the case. Some who came into these walls would welcome death out of fear of having to endure such a life inside these walls. A life that many imagined but never truly grasped. A life of seclusion. Of rigors so harsh that it would change even the bravest and strongest of men. Others, however, over time grew accustomed to it. To their new life. So wrapped up in it that there came a point to where they knew nothing but it. A life of solitary. Not only from the outside world and it's fears and doubts but from their own as well.

She lay there, battered and bruised, not only from her last encounter with one of the inmates, but from the scars that never seemed to heal. Never seemed to fade. Some of which were playing through her head at this very moment. 

There was a time when she didn't care about the outside world. About the people in it she had affected a number of times. She couldn't. She couldn't because every time she thought about them she came in direct contact with her own fears. Her own doubts. Her own solitude. 

Being inside these very walls, in this solitary confinement she found herself to be in now. She could be heard laughing at times to herself because she found it no different than what she had before. Out there. She was still alone, only this time it was in the dark instead of under the light. No matter how much she tried to convince herself she wasn't alone, she was. The way she would listen to everything that someone else thought to be important and then dismiss it as anything but. The way she hid behind her tough exterior in the same manner that she now hid behind these very walls. They were all part of her flaw. Part of her denial. Part of her fear.

It all scared her to know these facts and that's what she hated the most about solitary. Not the walls that held her in this compact space, or even the walls that held her inside this very prison. But the truth that she could truly only understood these fears in these very walls. In a place that she never realized she had been her whole life until she came here. A place that she hated to admit that she needed. A place that a part of her liked. She needed it and that was something that she not only hated, but feared. 

She did not fear getting out and being able to see beyond these walls again. No, she feared the day when she was able to get out. When or if that day came would she be able to realize her fears on the outside or would she fall into the same trap that so many others get into when they themselves get out from behind these very walls? Going back to the life that they had. The only life that they knew. Back to a place where everyone knew, and yet no one knew. Out there. Beyond the walls. Under the light. Solitary.

A loud clanking of metal was heard as the light shone through and for a moment, only for a moment, her heart clutched in her chest. Then she looked up. Up into the light as it finished it's journey and shone through the once darkened place.

"Up and at'em sweet cheeks. Thirty days are up."

"Aww... come on chief. I was playing I Spy with Mickey," she said, the mouse scurrying back into the cracks in the wall.

"Let's go Faith."

Faith's face broke out into a small smile before she got up and stepped out of the confinement area. 

"You know the routine," one of the guards said, the other five looking on.

Faith held out her arms in front of her, not breaking eye contact with the guard for a second. One of the guards handed the one directly in front of Faith the cuffs. The guard took them and walked up to Faith and placed them on, snapping each securely around her wrists. Even after the guard was done, Faith kept eye contact with the guard for a second. Her smile now gone. Then she walked past him followed by the two guards to her side and the others directly behind her. 

The light was a little hard to adjust to in the prison yard but just like anything she went through in her life, she adapted. That's what survivors do. She made her way through the yard slightly shielding her eyes with her cuffed hands. While doing so she felt them watching. She looked across the other side of the yard either though she didn't have to. She already knew. There on the other end stood Rosa and her entourage. Rosa still sporting some of her injuries from the very fight that had landed both of them in solitary confinement. However, seeing as how that Rosa had more connections on the inside her confinement was cut down in time. Faith wasn't as lucky. She wouldn't have had it any other way. 

Her eyes came into focus for the first time while looking across the yard. Faith smiled into the sun, into the light, directly at the young lady while continuing on her destination. A minute later Faith was being lead inside the compound. Walking down the corridor, Faith was led the same direction she always went after one of her "vacations." Directly to the Warden's office. However, when they came upon the corridor leading to the Warden's office the guards gave her a nudge to continue forward, "Mr. Layden had to prepare for the new arrivals. You are to be put back into your cell until he is finished."

"My cell? What about my shower?" Faith asked still moving forward.

"It'll have to wait." 

Faith seethed as she felt the cuffs around her wrists tighten. Every single time she had gotten out of solitary confinement she would go see the Warden and then the shower. Now, though, she was left to go to her cell in her rags smelling of thirty days of stink and she would have to wait for her shower. Oh yes, those cuffs were very tight around her wrists.

Just when she was being lead to her cell block, a guard down on the other end of the corridor flagged down one of the guards escorting her. They came to a stop as the guard walked up to them. Faith looked up and let out a sigh as one of the guards stepped aside with the guard that flagged them down. 

Faith turned to a couple of the other guards shortly behind her, "What do you say while the two of them catch up on ole' times you let me hit the shower?" she asked as the guards looked at one another with smirking expressions. 

"Oh come on, it'll only be for a bit. In fact," she said letting her words draw out, "I'll even let you watch."

"Who says we don't already," one of the guards said, the other chuckling. 

The thought of spending more time in confinement went through Faith's mind as she looked upon the two guards having a laugh.

"This way," the guard who had been pulled aside said, leading Faith towards another destination.

"Whoa, where..."

"You have a visitor," the guard said.

"A visitor?" she said unbelievably. The only person who had ever visited her was Angel. But it was still day and the last time she knew the prison didn't have a visitor's lounge in the sewer system. As much as she wanted a shower her curiosity couldn't help but get the best of her as she tried to imagine who would come to see her. However, the more she thought about it, the more it made her want to turn back and have that shower. Before she knew it they were at the visitor's room door. She stopped at the door, waiting for the guard as he opened it to let her in. Once the guard had the door opened she held out her arms, waiting for the guard to unlock her cuffs. The guard simply shook his head, "I won't make that mistake again," he said, earning him a wicked smile from Faith before she walked past him and into the room still handcuffed. 

Inside the room there were two guards standing on opposite corners of it as well as security cameras located on each corner of the ceiling. Faith walked past one of the inmates who was seated, talking to she guessed the girl's boyfriend. The girl was holding the phone with one hand as she placed her finger slowly onto her lips and then onto the glass. She looked broken, weak, everything Faith would not expect of someone who was on the inside. Then the girl stood up and Faith couldn't help but flinch as her eyes met with Rosa's. The moment she stood up and saw Faith, Rosa's whole attitude changed from the weaken demeanor she was a second ago to her raw, and toughen exterior that Faith was more use to seeing. She tried to hide it but even Rosa was a bit taken back at seeing Faith in that instance. Then she walked past Faith as the guards escorted her out of the room. Faith slightly shrugged her shoulders, shaking off the event that had just occurred, "Now that's not something you see everyday."

Faith heard a knocking on one of the glass shielded windows as she turned around, "Well, it seems strange things do occur in pairs," she said sitting down, and picking up the phone with a blank expression on her face.

"If I'd known you were going to bring the handcuffs I would've tried to arrange for a conjugal visit instead," Xander said through his phone with slight smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am currently working on part 7. If it had a Faith shower scene I'd probably have it out in ten minutes tops lol. I am also working on a new piece titled, "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep." It's just something that I hope will get some to think a little more. I should have it done real soon.

TC


	7. Deja Vu Part 7

Title: Deja Vu  
  
Disclaimer: The characters and flashback scenes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to UPN, Joss, Fox, etc....   
  
Distribution: Anywhere you want. Just let me know where.   
  
Summary: Reliving the same day may be all fun and games for awhile but what happens when that hope of no tomorrow finally sinks in for Xander?   
  
Setting: Season 5, one day before I Was Made to Love You.   
  
Rating: This chapter is Rated R for some dark violence.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hope is a dangerous thing. It can save a man of something and destroy a man with nothing."  
  
--Unknown  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
California Women's Facility  
  
San Diego, California  
  
2:57 P.M.  
  
"Well, well, look what the cat dragged in. Lucky me," Faith said with the phone up to her ear.  
  
"I'm sorry I'm not looking my best for ya. It just gets tiring shaving after awhile you know," he said looking through the glass at her.  
  
"Cut to the chase. Why are you here? Oh wait. I know what this is about."   
  
Xander raised an eyebrow at her questionably, "This is about you and your little friends coming here and giving me the big ole' speech isn't it? So B's finally decided to drop in and gloat eh? Well, go ahead, just make it fast. I'd like to take a shower and get back to my cell. Bertha from cell block three is having a card game later today and I plan on getting back my smokes. So go ahead and call Buffy and friends in here and let's get this over with," she said.  
  
"Buffy didn't come with me. I'm alone."  
  
The annoyance in Faith's face was quickly erased, followed by something that not even Xander caught.  
  
"Wait, since when do you smoke?" Xander asked before seeing Faith give him a look, "Oh, right, prison talk. Gotcha."  
  
After a few seconds of awkward silence Faith spoke, "Why are you here anyway? It can't be for the company. I mean, the last time you saw me I was..."  
  
"Choking the life out of me. Yes, I remember the fun."  
  
The eye contact between them was broken by her.  
  
"Though, I do recall one good thing about our last encounter," he said watching her interest grow a bit, "I now know, I'm a lights off kind of guy."  
  
Faith let out an exasperated breath with a smirk that only lasted a second as she quickly covered it up, "What is this? You coming here. Dropping in out of the sky like this?"  
  
"Actually that's Angel who does the dropping out of the sky thing. I'm more of a slide across the ground with bruises guy myself."  
  
After Faith's glare got too much for him, Xander sighed, "I had some time to kill. So I thought I'd kill it with my first time."  
  
"Lucky me."  
  
"Look, I thought it..." he leaned back with a sigh, "I thought it would be..."  
  
"You thought what? That you'd march in here and I'd be all redeeming? That we'd catch up on ole' times? Is that it? Is that what you thought?"  
  
"You know what? I came here because I felt it was the right thing to do but now I'm starting to rethink that," he said.   
  
When Faith remained silent he continued just as he made a move to rise from his chair, "This was a mistake."   
  
"How's Buffy doing?" Faith asked quietly.  
  
"What?" he said, thrown back a bit at her question.  
  
"I said, how's Buffy doing."   
  
He thought about just leaving right then and there, but the way her voice sounded. The way her body posture had taken an one eighty from the person who was sitting there only a second ago. He couldn't help but take interest, "She-she's doing okay," he said leaning back into his seat again.  
  
It had been over a year since she had been in Sunnydale. Over a year since she had seen any of them. The one person that she had opened up to a little was Angel and she hadn't even seen him in awhile. He was her only contact to the outside world now. No one else. Yet, here was another person from her past showing up. Another person that she had tried to kill. It was confusing to her why any of them would come to see her. It had to be only to berate her. To play with her. She was sure of it. Only, hearing Xander across from her, she wasn't so sure anymore. For the first time in awhile, Faith felt something creep up in her that hadn't for some time. It was so foreign to her that even now she hardly noticed it. Yet it was there. She only had to find it again.  
  
  
  
Looking back up her eyes locked with his and she found herself quietly letting out a breath as he continued, "Well, as good as she can be I guess."  
  
When Faith gave him a questioning look he elaborated, "Riley took off."  
  
"When?" she asked quietly. In just one second that of which she had been close to finding was slipping away again. Between the few moments it took for him to answer she felt a knot swell up in her. She wondered just how much of an affect her last adventure in Sunnydale had. She knew it was bad but this? When Xander mentioned that Riley had left just about a month ago she couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. A sigh that she felt the person across from her took wrong as she apologized, "Sorry, I didn't mean... it's just the last time... the last time I was there I sort of ..."  
  
"Yeah, I remember."  
  
Once again, she let the silence do her talking. Something that she was good at. She was always a shoot first and ask questions later kind of gal but that was before. Before she had a lot of time on her hands to think. Now she didn't know what kind of person she was. That more than anything, she feared the most.  
  
"Wait a second," Xander said drawing her attention more sharply to him, "Was that an apology I just heard? Did Faith just apologize?"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
Xander smiled. So did Faith, but only for a brief second and then it was gone as fast as it had came.  
  
After another moment of silence past between them she spoke up, "Why?"  
  
"Why what? Oh," he said sitting upright, "Well, you see, Riley felt that Buffy didn't..."  
  
"No, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm asking why? Why now?" she asked.  
  
He stopped and looked at her for a moment before it registered what she was referring to. Looking down he heard himself let out a sigh, "I just felt it was time. You deserved a second chance," he said, slowly looking back up and at her, "A chance to talk. A chance..."  
  
"I deserve nothing."  
  
He was taken back by her bluntness even though he didn't know why. Faith was always about being blunt. Being up front. She didn't have a mask. She didn't tell you bull and then talk about you behind your back. She talked about you to your face. That was her style. That was Faith. Yet, now even with him knowing this, he was surprised by her comment. Surprised because for some reason, he didn't know why, but he could tell that this person sitting on the other side of that glass was different somehow. In some way.   
  
He looked back at her and nodded slowly, "Okay, but..."  
  
"You were right," she said shifting uncomfortably in her chair, "this was a mistake. You shouldn't have come here."  
  
He looked at her curiously for a moment before he responded, "No, I think I came just in time."  
  
He watched as she quickly stilled her movements in the chair. Then a smile formed on her lips. This smile wasn't the same that he shared with Willow when talking about their first meeting. Nor was it the same that he knew from Dawn's face after they discussed worst Sunnydale High teachers in the Hellmouth's history. Yet, it was not one that was new to him either. No, this was the smile he knew. A smile that he never thought he would see again, nor care to see. The smirk. The expression. The laugh. It was as if he were seeing the past through a looking glass. This was the same smile. The same laugh that he had experienced that night in the motel room. The night she tried to kill him.   
  
"My savior," she said laughing while turning her head to the side. Xander just watched her. He could do nothing else as her laugh died down and she looked back directly at him, "You think that whatever I say matters? Whatever I do? Nothing matters. Not in here. Not out there. It's all just one big ole' world of nothing. Don't you get that?"  
  
"Faith," Xander said trying to reach her, trying to get that person that he was talking to just a few minutes ago back, "It does matter. You matter."  
  
That same smile danced on her lips, this time followed by a laugh that kept building till it abruptly came to a silent stop, "So noble. You really are a sucker for hope aren't you Xander Harris. Look at your life. Do you find much hope in your life? In your friends?" His silence only urged her on, "Do you not see it? Are you blind? Every day you fight the good fight. Every day you support them. Support her. And every day how far does that get you? How far does that get them?"  
  
"Faith..."  
  
"No? No words of valor? No speeches about hope and fighting the good fight?"  
  
"Faith..."  
  
"Or maybe, you do see what I see," she said leaning close to her side of the glass, "Maybe you just won't admit it. Won't admit that all of your acts, all of your support, all of your fight. It all means nothing. That you do the same things over and over again day in and day out and it gets you no where but right back where you started at."   
  
Faith sat there quietly just watching him. When his silence lingered she continued, "No? Hmm... maybe you're right then," she said backing away from the glass, leaning back into chair, "Maybe I'm the one who can't see the forest for the trees. God knows I haven't seen a tree in awhile."  
  
Neither of them said a word as they sat in silence. A silence that was broken only by one of the guards inside the room speaking up, "Time's up Faith," the guard said. Faith gave Xander one last look before starting to get up.  
  
"What?" she asked into the phone, stopping before she hung up.  
  
"I said, you want hope. I'll give you hope," Xander said before hanging up. His gaze held her there until he suddenly got up, turned and walked out of the room.  
  
She continued to stare at the door even after he had gone. "Warden's ready to see you now," the guard said, her attention suddenly turned.  
  
"Finally, now let's get this over with. I have a shower to get to," she said before being lead out of the room. While she was being escorted to see the Warden she thought about her and Xander's conversation one last time and couldn't help but wonder who exactly was right.  
  
*****************************  
  
California Women's Facility  
  
San Diego, California  
  
12:55 P.M.  
  
New Loop  
  
Faith awoke with a start. She had been in this hold for some time and figured it was nearing a month but she wasn't sure. There wasn't much she was sure of since she had came to this place less than a year ago. Well, except for the way she put Rosa and all of her girls to the ground. That she was sure of. She couldn't help but smile at the thought. Her smile faded however when she heard the lock on the confinement door. She squinted her eyes, the light shining in from the slightly opened door. She waited for one of the guards to move into the open and lead her out but no one stepped out. Instead, the door closed as quickly as it had been opened.   
  
She looked around the empty and dark room with her senses on overload. Getting up suddenly, Faith leaned against the far wall in a defensive posture. There was someone or something in here with her. That she was sure of.  
  
"Oh, what I wouldn't have give to had this ability when I was in high school."  
  
Immediately after hearing the voice, Faith went on the offensive and attacked. She landed a blow, feeling the weight of whoever it was fall to the ground in pain.  
  
"Ow!" the voice said from the ground before the outline of their body started to fade into view.  
  
"Who the hell are you?" Faith asked ready to inflict more pain.  
  
"You always have to talk with your fists don't ya?" the person said. She could see the person rub their head with their hand as the person stood up.  
  
"Xander? What the.... what are you doing here? Wait, is Buffy..."  
  
"No, I'm alone."  
  
"I don't understand."  
  
"You will. Now come on," he said reaching out his hand and taking a hold of hers.   
  
"I'm not going anywhere with you. Besides, we wouldn't get five steps out there without someone seeing us. There would be guards all over us in ten seconds tops," she said before pulling away a little, "Wait, how did you get in here anyways?"  
  
Xander turned to face her with a smile, "Don't worry. I'm invisible. No one will see us."   
  
"Uh, I can see you just fine."  
  
"That's because I made you invisible too," he said before correcting himself, "Well, actually the guy I hired just outside did but nonetheless, you're invisible."  
  
Faith followed him outside of the solitary confinement hold and watched as he shut the door slowly. The sun lit up the prison yard as she squinted from the rays. Shielding her eyes she looked up into the sky, her attention focusing on the prison towers above the various corners, "Why haven't they seen us?" she said with the guards just standing at their posts.  
  
"I told you, we're invisible," Xander said as she turned back around to face him, "Who the fuck is he?"  
  
"That's the guy I was telling you about. Casper," Xander said nodding towards the man. The man nodded back slowly.  
  
"Casper? As in the ghost Casper?" Faith asked incredulously.  
  
"No, Casper as in The Looking Glass book store owner Casper. Though, it does kind of make you wonder about Scooby Doo doesn't it?" Xander said.  
  
Faith looked back towards the man as she sized him up. Judging by his facial features she guessed he was no older than thirty, thirty five tops. His hair was as dark as the shades he wore. His attire was what got her attention the most though. He was dressed in a pair of tan khakis and a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His shoes, penny loffers, definitely weren't the standard issue that one might guess be used to break someone out of jail with either. If anything this man looked like a banker to her, definitely not a hired hand. Hell, he didn't even have the bookstore owner look to him.  
  
"Hey," Faith said nodding towards the man in greeting.   
  
"Uh, he's not really in favor of the talking," Xander said after Faith's greeting went without acknowledgement.  
  
"Yeah, whatever," Faith said turning around and looking back up at the guard towers. She looked up at the guard who just stood there as he scanned the same area that she was now standing at. When the guard turned his head Faith looked at them in amusement. Then looking down on the ground around her she picked up a small rock. Then with a smile on her face she glanced up at the guard's tower and launched the rock towards it. A minute later there stood a very pissed off guard with a sore back. The guard looked around the area seeing nothing, spitting out expletives every now and then.   
  
"Uh Faith, as fun as peg the rock on the guard's back is, we need to be moving," Xander said.  
  
She took another look around the prison yard before looking at Xander. He watched her demeanor change instantly to one of a more serious nature, "Why are you so interested in breaking me out of here anyway? If it were for end of the world big Angel would've came. Hell, maybe even Buffy. So what gives?"  
  
"I want to help you?"  
  
Faith stood her ground and stared back at him. A chuckle escaping her lips, "You want to help me? You want to help the person who tried to kill you? Yeah, try again."  
  
Xander sighed before taking a step towards her, "Faith, I see the way you are. The way you live in here. I want to help."  
  
"Well, see that's the thing. The government don't put murderers up into the Hilton like they use to. This is all I have. There's nothing I can do. This is my place now," she said pausing, "Besides, it's not that bad. I have plenty to eat and between Rosa and her crew I always get in a good work out now and then."  
  
"You don't have to live like this. Not today. Today is your get out of jail free card day."  
  
"And why's that? Why is this the day that Xander Harris decided to help me? What makes today so special?"  
  
"Because today is the day that I offer you a ride on my Harley."  
  
"Your Harley? You own a Harley? As in Harley Davidson?"   
  
"Is there any other?"   
  
"So it is the end of the world."  
  
"Why do all the women I know say that? Can't a man change his image every now and then?"  
  
"Let's say for argument's sake that I went with you. What then? I have a lot of people who probably want me dead on the outside, like say oh, the council. Can you guarantee my safety? More importantly," she said turning back around to face him, "can you guarantee your own? After all I'm not in here because of my card tricks."  
  
"I'll be fine."   
  
"Hmm..."  
  
"So what's it gonna be Faith? Riding down the highway on a Harley or playing who's gonna pick up that soap?" Xander said, "It's your call. Just make it fast."  
  
"Make it fast? What, are you trying to make the record books for fastest prison breakout or something?"  
  
"No, it's just I'm being charged by the hour," Xander said nodding back towards the man behind him.  
  
Faith let out an annoyed sigh as she turned her back to him. She just stood there looking out into the yard. What was the problem she thought. Why was she not jumping at this opportunity? This was her chance out. Her chance at freedom. Yet, here she was acting as if it were something to be concerned about. If this would have been two years ago she'd been out of here by now. Taking any offer like the one she was just handed. She could be out of here in less than a half hour. Then she could take the Harley from him and be out of town and gone. Gone from it all. Gone from all the misery that came with California. From the pain. Oh how she yearned for that so much. To just get away. Away from anyone or anything that knew her. Away from this God forsaken prison. Away from herself. Yet, that voice inside of her kept pulling her back.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Flashback  
  
Angel's old place  
  
May 2, 2000  
  
"You're in no condition to leave here. You walk out that door now and you'll be running for the rest of your life - and my bet is - it'll be a pretty short run."  
  
Faith walks past him, "You know what? It doesn't matter."  
  
Angel steps between her and the door, "It does matter. It matters to me."  
  
"Why are you doing this? Why are you being nice to me? Just - stop it. You're gonna step aside or do we throw down? I mean, am I your prisoner here?"  
  
"No. You're not my prisoner."  
  
"So I'm free."  
  
"I don't know about that," he says sliding the door behind him open, "but the door is open."  
  
He watches as Faith walks past him, "Where are you gonna go? Back out in that darkness?" he says, Faith hesitating before continuing to walk away, "I once told you that you didn't have to go out in that darkness." Faith stops, her back to him, "Remember? That it was your choice. Well, you chose - You thought that you could just touch it. That you'd be okay," he says slowly walking closer to her, "5X5, right, Faith? - But it swallowed you whole. - So tell me," he says standing behind her, "how did you like it?"  
  
Faith turns and slugs him hard. He doesn't retaliate, just slowly turns back to look at her. She stares for a moment then looks anywhere but at him. Then hesitantly she whispered, "Help me?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It played fresh in her mind, a film that had been relayed time and time again. In a lot of ways it was her salvation. She was here because of what he did for her. He didn't merely save her life, that she could defend and protect on her own well enough. No, what he did. What he saved, someone had done for him. He gave her back her soul. That act transcended far and beyond her life.   
  
As she stood in this prison yard, freedom staring her in the face, she couldn't help the smile that crept upon her face. Turning around she walked up to Xander, "Sorry bout this, with you breaking in here and all but I can't go with you. I'm - my whole life, I've ran from things. People who gave me a chance, who tried to help me. Buffy, Giles, Angel, Wesley," she said pausing for a moment after mentioning the former watcher's name, "I'm tired of running. Tired of constantly looking over my shoulder. I can't do that anymore. Not now. Not after what I've been given," she said turning her back to him, looking out into the prison yard, "I won't do that anymore."  
  
As she looked off into the yard she thought about Angel. Wondered what he was doing right this minute. There was no doubt in her mind that he was saving someone from something. That was what he did after all. It was his calling. She hoped one day that she got that chance again. A chance to help. At least she thought she did. So much undetermined, so much uncertain and yet so much so clear at this very moment to her.   
  
"I understand," she heard Xander say as her eyes followed his shadow on the ground, listening to him behind her, "So much endured. I can't even begin to imagine the pain that you have felt. The pain that you have inflicted in your life. Upon friends. Loved ones. Hell, even perfect strangers. But here's the thing. I want to help you. I want to help you the way Angel helped you," she heard him say, his words urging her to face him as she turned back around, "That's why I'm doing this," he said catching her off guard as he tossed some colored dust from his hand into the air, directly in contact with her face.  
  
"Wha -- is... " Faith said, her eyes feeling heavy as her body began to give way into his arms.  
  
"To help you," he finished saying, Faith lying limp in his arms.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"It's just, uh... I heard about what happened, and I thought you might need a friend."  
  
"So then, go talk to Buffy. She's the one who killed a guy."  
  
"Yeah. I heard that version."  
  
"Version?" Faith says, not amused.  
  
"Either way," Xander says sighing, "I-it sounds like it was an accident, and that's the important part."  
  
"No, the important part is that Buffy is the accidental murderer," Faith said making finger quotes.  
  
"Faith, you may not think so, but I sort of know you. And I've seen you post-battle. And I know firsthand that you're, um... like a wild thing. And half the time, you don't know what you're doing."  
  
"And you're living proof of that, aren't you?"  
  
"See, you're trying to hurt me. But right now, you need someone on your side. What happened wasn't your fault. And I'm willing to testify to that in court if you need me."  
  
"You'd dig that, wouldn't you?" she said giving him a sexy look, "To get up in front of all your geek pals and go on record about how I made you my boy toy for a night."  
  
"No. N-n-n-n-no, that's not it."  
  
"I know what this is all about," she said taking a step closer to him while running her fingertips all around his face, "You just came by here 'cause you want another taste, don't you?"  
  
"No! I mean, it was nice. It was great. It was kind of a blur. But, okay, some day, sure, yay, but not now. Not like this."  
  
"More like how then?" Faith said, grabbing hold of his head, "Lights on or off? Kinks or vanilla?"  
  
"Faith come on," Xander said, jerking away from her, "I came here to help you. I thought we had a connection," he says searching her eyes for something. For anything.  
  
She laughs out loud before grabbing hold of his shirt, shoving him onto the bed and jumping on top of him, "You wanna feel a connection? It's just skin," she says opening his shirt, "I see... I want... I take. I forget," she said kissing him hard.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Faith jerked awake, instantly grabbing her head for doing so. She felt like she was spinning. Her senses were on overload which only made the head rush worse. Her hand touched the ground and she couldn't help but look down at it. "Well, it's about time sleepy head," she heard from behind her. Instantly she remembered. The images flooded back into her head. She looked across her right shoulder as she watched him come up from behind her out the corner of her eye.   
  
"I thought you'd never wake up. The day's already halfway over."  
  
"Where are we?"  
  
"Does it matter? You're free."  
  
Slowly getting to her feet her sight came into focus around her.   
  
"Beautiful isn't it? Well, except for the smog," he said coming up beside her.  
  
"Get the hell away from me," she said before turning to face him, "What's your deal? You in the kidnapping business now? What, the slaying business that bad?"  
  
"You wouldn't come so I did what I had too. Believe me, I tried everything I could to get you to come with me freely but you wouldn't."  
  
"So that's the way you operate now. If you don't get what you want, you take it?"  
  
A smirk slowly crept upon his face, "Worked fine for you once."  
  
Faith had her deterrent look going but her eyes deceived her, "Yeah, it did, but look where it got me. In prison."  
  
"Not anymore," he said nodding out into the scenery that overlooked the city.  
  
"So what gives? Why you doing this? Does Buffy know about it? There's no way she'd let you ..."  
  
"Let me what? Break you out? Set you free? No probably not, but you know what? Buffy's not here now is she?"  
  
After a moment he took a step towards her, "If you get anywhere near me I'll break you in half," she said.  
  
He stopped and gave her a look, "Wouldn't be the first time."  
  
"What the hells your deal Xander? If you don't tell me what this is all about and do it quick I'll put you down just as quick."  
  
"You know, as much as you and Buffy don't want to admit it, you're alike in a lot of ways. Both of you always think you have to do things alone." After a moment he sighed while putting his hands into his pockets, "Fine, I'll tell you. Better yet, I'll show you," he said walking over to his Harley, "Well, are you going to get on or not. What? You don't trust me? Oh for... you said it yourself, you can put me down anytime you want. I'm not a threat."   
  
Despite herself, Faith couldn't help but be curious. She walked towards him slowly, taking one last look at him before mounting the bike behind him, "And to think, usually you're the only one on top," he said receiving a shove from her, nearly knocking him off of the bike.  
  
"Sorry, couldn't help it."  
  
"Just shut up and drive," she said as they started down the road.  
  
***********************  
  
IN-N-OUT Burger  
  
6000 Pacific Blvd., Huntington Park  
  
Los Angeles, CA  
  
9:01 P.M.  
  
"Not that I don't mind eating at the other guy's expense, especially since I haven't had a good cheese burger in awhile, but this can't be what you kidnapped me out of prison for," Faith said after finishing off her cheeseburger.   
  
Xander reached out and picked up a fry as he dipped it into ketchup. He brought it up to his mouth, savoring the taste as he licked his fingers clean from any evidence, "That's got to be a first you know?"  
  
Faith leaned back in her booth and gave him a questioning look, "Kidnapping from prison," he clarified.  
  
"Look, it's not that I don't appreciate the gesture. Breaking a gal out of prison and all, not to mention kicking burgers but don't you think it's about time you let me in on the why?"  
  
"You want another burger? Hey, maybe one of their deserts. You should try their malts. Wait, you're probably more of a hot fudge kind of girl aren't ya. Yeah, let's go with that. Ooh, you'll love the way they put the fudge all around the ice cream. You'll never have any better."  
  
"Has your hearing gone to the same place your brain apparently went? Did you not hear me?" she said leaning up and over the table, "I am tired of being led around on this trip of yours. So I suggest you either let me in on the joke or..."   
  
"Or what? You'll kill me?" he said, getting a knee jerk reaction out of her, "Just a thought but maybe making a scene in a public place isn't the right thing to do when you're an escaped convict."  
  
"Kidnapped," she corrected him while slowly leaning back into her booth.  
  
"You say tomato I say tamato."  
  
"Were you always this annoying?"  
  
"Probably not," he said smiling as the waitress brought him his second order of fries.  
  
"Thank you Rachel," he said as the waitress gave him a strange look, "So where were we?"  
  
"Leaving," Faith said as she got up from her booth and started walking out.   
  
Faith was just about to the door when a hand grabbed a hold of her shoulder. Whirling around, she let her fist fly only to have her arm pulled back from behind her. Soon she was double teamed as her mind raced to catch up with the situation.  
  
"No one's leaving," the man in front of her said out loud, "If you try you die."  
  
The few people who were left in the place began to stir. One, a young man who looked to be in his twenties, jumped up from his seat and tried to make an exit through the back. In less than five seconds he was dead. His neck snapped as he laid on the ground with his executioner standing over him.  
  
"Did I not say try and you die?" the man in front of Faith asked to the one holding her, "I swear, these humans never learn."  
  
"Well, that's one thing we have in common then."  
  
The man turned around and stared at the female being held by his friend, "What did you say?" He took a step closer to her, "You wanna be next with that smart mouth?"  
  
"Actually, what I really want is some wood... er, a piece of wood actually," Faith said, a confused look forming on the man's face, "Oh yeah, I've been in prison way too long," she said before using her leverage against the one holding her. Kicking her feet out she landed a solid blow to the one in front of her before bringing her feet back to the ground. This act had knocked some of the momentum the man holding her had as his grip loosened. Faith then snapped her head back as it connected with the him, breaking his hold on her and probably his nose by the sound of it. She whirled around just as he changed into his visage.  
  
"Well, about time you showed your true colors."  
  
The vampire snarled in agony at his state before lunging at her. He was tossed back against the wall for his troubles. Faith turned back around and took in the scene. The one who seemed to be the leader had just gotten back up and the one who had killed the young man was just now coming around to the front.   
  
"You're dead," the one in front of her said as he got off of the ground, his true visage now showing.  
  
"Three on one eh?" Faith said just as he attacked. His attack so unmastered that she had no trouble blocking his par ayes. Grabbing a hold of his wrists, she brought her knee up into his face, sending him backwards and onto the ground. Spinning around she caught the blow from the one behind her as she flung him up and into one of the booths. She turned back around but not fast enough. Her head snapped back from the blow. Her instincts now in full force, she got control of her body and blocked the third vamp's next attack. With one sweep of her feet his legs went out from under him as he hit the floor. For the first time since the fight broke out Faith looked up to see the few people remaining hurrying out the door. All that is, except Xander, who was merely sitting in the booth as he continued to chow down on his second order of fries.   
  
This momentary distraction was all that it took for her to get tackled to the ground from behind. Facing the ground Faith throw her elbow back into the vamp's face. The blow allowed her to roll over and flip herself back up. At that exact moment her hand whipped out in front of her catching the wooden stake that was tossed in her direction. Snapping her head where it came from she saw Xander finishing off the last of his fries with a smile. It was if he were watching a show as he took a sip from his coke while leaning back. When he put his glass out in front of him as if giving her a nod of approval Faith rolled her eyes as she moved her attention back to the vamps.   
  
"What the hell is your beef? All we wanted was a little fast food," one of them said.  
  
"See that's the problem with you men. Always wanting it now. Got to always rush it. Has to be hard and fast," she said. To her left she heard Xander clear his throat. "Oh, right that's the way I like it too."   
  
She leapt at the vamps knocking one to the ground, exchanging blows with another. The one she was fighting definitely was the best fighter among them but he was no match. Even with her lay off from slaying Faith could see every move he was about to make before he made it. Two seconds later he was dust. Spinning as the dust settled around her she jabbed one of the other vamps in the chest. Her head snapped up as she heard the last vamp make a run for the exit. When he reached for the door he felt the stake enter his back. He only had enough time to look down to see the protruding stake before becoming dust himself.  
  
"Forty three point eight seconds. Not bad," Xander said getting up from his seat and walking up towards her, "So how'd it feel to be back in the game?"  
  
"About like this," Faith said grabbing a hold of him by the shirt as she slammed his back up and onto the counter, "I don't know what it is you think you are..." she paused, realization dawning on her, "Wait a second, you knew those vamps would be here tonight. That's why you..." she let go of him as she walked a few feet away, "That's why you brought me here tonight," she sighed, "Son of a bitch! You set me up." Xander leaned back up, fingering at his now torn shirt, "I don't need this shit. I'm out of here," Faith said starting towards the door.  
  
Xander let out an annoyed sigh, "You know what, fine. Go back and rot in your prison. See if I care," he said as Faith continued towards the door, "I give you this freedom and this is the way you thank me. By throwing it back in my face?"  
  
"Freedom?" Faith said spinning back around, "You call being kidnapped and being led on some joy ride against your will freedom?"  
  
"Oh please," Xander said shaking his head, "Like you didn't enjoy doing those vamps." Faith's eyes spoke of her true feelings even when her posture claimed otherwise, "You were made to fight vamps Faith. You know it and I know it. You get off on it just as much as I got off on watching you fight them just now," he said moving up closer to her.   
  
"Stay the hell away from me."  
  
Xander stopped and gazed at her a few feet from her. His expression suddenly changed and then shaking his head he turned around. Faith watched him take a few steps away from her before coming to a halt. He just stood there. Stood there so quietly that Faith was about to say something merely to break the silence until he spoke up, "Do you know how many times we've had this conversation and yet ever single time you say the same thing? Doesn't matter what I do different. What I say different. It never changes. None of it. I keep on trying to ... trying," he chuckled to himself, his tone changing, "It… it never changes," he said once again before growing quiet.   
  
"Xander I think you need to call Buffy. Something's definitely wrong..."  
  
She trailed off as she heard his laugh. "Doesn't matter. She can't help. Believe me I've tried. I've tried them all. Giles, Willow, hell I'd even try Spike if I thought it would work."  
  
"Tried? Tried what? Xander what the hell is this all about?" Faith asked.   
  
Xander looked up. His eyes caught glance of a man wrapped up in layers of tattered clothing as he moved along side the restaurant. The man, if you could call him that, looked as if he hadn't had a meal in forever. His face was pale and thin. His bony hand pushed up against the outer window as he stumbled, leaning against the windows for support. Xander followed his movements all the way to the door as it opened.   
  
"None of it matters," Xander said in almost a whisper.  
  
Faith's attention also followed the man as he crept inside the restaurant, "Wouldn't happen to have some spare change now would ya?"  
  
Faith's attention went back to Xander as she watched his demeanor immediately change, "Sure, in fact, sit down and let me get you something warm to drink."  
  
As the man struggled to walk she recognized that this man was much older than she originally thought. "You'd do that? You'd do that for an old man? Why thanks young'n."  
  
"No problem, just take a seat," Xander said moving around and behind the counter as he picked up the coffee pot, "Here you go," he said pouring the coffee into a cup he retrieved from underneath the counter. When the coffee cup was slid up to the old man his face lit up as if the cup of coffee was a pot of gold. Faith watched him take a sip. It seemed to burn him as he moved the cup from his lip and cringed a bit. A second later though he brought it back up to him and took another one. Soon he was taking it in like he had been drinking coffee his whole life. After a few long swigs from the cup he put it back down on the counter.   
  
The older man glanced towards Faith, a huge smile of gratitude evident, "Now that hits the spot. Thank you young man." The man licked his lips, still reveling in the warmness of the drink.  
  
"More?" Xander asked grabbing the man's cup to refill. The man quickly put up his hand, "No, no, I couldn't accept anymore for free. You have been kind enough as it is."  
  
Xander stopped for a second before looking back at the old man thoughtfully, "I'll tell you what, you tell me a little about yourself and we'll call it even."  
  
The man's face wore a baffled look as he objected, "No, no, I can not..."  
  
"Yes, you can. And you will."  
  
Faith watched the old man sigh in defeat before his face slowly showed a smile, "Well, that's ... young man, you've got yourself a deal," he said. Xander smiled up at Faith before he continued to refill the man's cup of coffee, "So where are you from?" Xander asked while doing so.  
  
"Atlanta, Georgia. Name's Willie by the way."  
  
"Wow, that's quite a ways Willie. My names Xander, gal over there is Faith."  
  
The man looked at Faith and nodded with a smile. She could only manage a slight nod as she continued to take in the strange scene.  
  
"And just what brought you to our bright and sunny state of California after all?"  
  
The man grew quite for a moment. For a second there Faith thought he may have passed out but then he continued, "My wife Margie died. Doctor said it was a stroke. She was only outside for a few minutes. Just like every other day. Working on her garden. Nothing wrong with that now is there?" he said, Xander agreeing with a nod, "I just... I never saw it coming. First Margie and then the bank foreclosing on the house. We never had no need to plan you know? At least that's what I kept telling Margie. She tried my Margie did but ...." The man stopped as he stared at the cup of coffee, thoughts evident in his mind.   
  
"I'm sorry, that must be terrible," Xander said.  
  
"Yeah," the man said taking a sip from his cup. After putting the cup back down the man sat there quietly for a moment as if waiting for something to hit him. Then as if the coffee had given him newfound strength his head snapped back up, "But you know what they say, God has a reason for everything."   
  
"Yes. That is what they say isn't it?" Xander said while moving around and out from behind the counter. He walked up to the man as he took another sip from the cup while nodding.   
  
"Now he's led me here. Margie's step brother lives out here somewhere. I know it. I just have to find him. Yep, it's only a matter of time," the man said nodding as if reassuring himself. He took the last swig from the cup before sitting it down with a satisfied sigh, "That is some fine coffee you've got here. It don't get any better than this."  
  
"Nope, it sure doesn't," Xander said, his tone drawing Faith's attention, "It sure doesn't."  
  
She watched him drive a knife into the back of the man in one hard swoop. She jerked from the action nearly as hard as the man did. The older man slumped forward while turning, his eyes boring into Faith's, as he fell from his seat to the floor face first.   
  
"Nothing ever does." Faith heard Xander mutter under his breath. Xander began moving away but she was unaware. The only thing she could do was stare at the body as it laid there. Forcing herself to move, she walked up towards it. Her heart beating so fast that it felt like it was going to come out of her chest. She saw herself leaning down over the body. Saw her hand reach out and touch the body. Then watched her hand came in contact with the neck. She didn't know why she did this but she did. Looking up she saw Xander walking outside of the restaurant. She watched him as he leaned up against the wall. A second later he kneeled over quickly as every bit of his food he had ate minutes before left his body.   
  
Her attention was brought back inside the restaurant as she felt the warmness on her hand.. Looking down she slowly lifted her hand from the neck and turned it over. Her hand covered in it. Her thoughts immediately went back to that night in the alley. The man leaning up against the dumpster. It was everywhere. He was drenched in it. Warm and dark. It was the same and she felt it now. The only sensation she felt and because of it she found herself wishing that she had none at all. Getting up she frantically searched for something to wipe it off with. Anything. Pulling out a few napkins from the dispenser she tried to get it off but she could still feel it on her. Rushing around and behind the counter she ran to the nearest sink and turned the water on. She immediately started scrubbing her hands. She felt her hands scream out in agony from the heat of it. Frantically, she turned the water to cool and let it run over them. Even when the warmness was gone she still continued to scrub. Every now and then she would look up while doing so. Soon her eyes found their way outside. Her frustration, and anger mounting she turned and marched towards the door, not even bothering to turn off the water. Pushing the doors open wide with one hard thrust she went right up to Xander who was still leaning against the wall. She grabbed a hold of him from behind and flung him to the ground in front of her, "You bastard!"  
  
She watched as he staggered to his feet laughing, his face bloody from where he hit the pavement. "What the hell is wrong with you!"  
  
"Don't you get it? It doesn't matter. Nothing does. It's just like you said Faith," he said staggering up to her. Faith punched him as he staggered back to the ground. He laid there on his stomach for a minute muttering out loud as he spat up blood.  
  
"I'm calling Buffy, this is crazy. Do you realize what you've done?"   
  
"Yeah, I killed someone who will be here at the exact same time tomorrow," Xander coughed out as he dragged himself to his feet, "The day after that, and the day after that."  
  
Faith was watching him but she was also looking for a payphone. She turned to look up both sides of the street but saw none. She turned back towards Xander to see him staggering into the middle of the street.  
  
"Xander!"  
  
"None of it matters," he said standing in the middle of the street. A bus bearing down upon him as the driver rang his horn loud. Faith took off, her feet moving so fast that not even the bus driver registered her until she threw herself into Xander as they both went flying. The bus slid to a stop past them as Faith leaned up from the ground with Xander next to her. The bus driver leaned out the window as he screamed out at them. Faith watched as he cursed out a few obscenities before slowly moving back down the road.  
  
"Xander," Faith said trying to help him up.  
  
"Get away from me!" he shouted, shoving her back as she fell back a bit.  
  
"What is wrong with you?" she asked getting to her feet, "Tonight, this… What the hell happened to you?"  
  
He laughed as he dragged himself up, "Yeah, well, we all change now don't we? Isn't that what life's about? Moving forward. Growing? Oh wait, no it isn't. Not anymore."  
  
"Okay, that's it. I'm tired, I need a shower and you obviously need psychiatric help. We are taking you to the hospital and then I'm calling Buffy."  
  
"Gee, I thought maybe we could dispose the body first. You know, since you have experience in that area and all."  
  
Faith cocked her head as her eyes narrowed, "What?"  
  
"Oh come on Faith, this kind of thing should be normal for you right? I mean, you seemed to have no problem with the lifestyle before. Seemed to enjoy it enough then. Wait, I know what your problem is. You haven't gotten any in awhile. Well, maybe we can change that too," he said with a smirk, the blood on his face already drying into a crimson color.   
  
"Yeah, I'm going to have to knock you out before we take you to the hospital," she said.  
  
"Always were one for the roughness," Xander said as she approached him. She was about ready to pull back and land a blow when he suddenly began to slump forward. Faith's reflexes took hold as she caught him before he fell. She held him uncomfortably for a minute as she looked down at his unconscious form, "Bastard just had to pass out," she muttered out loud.  
  
****************************  
  
Super 8 Motel  
  
1341 W Sunset Blvd,  
  
Los Angeles, CA  
  
Room 228  
  
10:05 P.M.  
  
Faith ran the warm water over the washrag. She turned the water off and rang the washrag a bit before turning and walking back into the main room. The newsman continued to talk about the new budget plan bill heading to congress but not much else. There hadn't been any news brief about an escaped convict or reports about any restaurants being held up. Why am I not surprised? she thought. Picking up the remote, Faith turned off the TV as she made her way to the bed where Xander was. When she sat on it he began to stir.   
  
"Well, it's about time sleepy head. I thought you'd never wake up," Faith said. "What, no hello?"   
  
Xander tried to lean up but only succeeded in making the pain worse. Reaching up with his hand, he dabbed at his head. "Here," Faith tossed him the rag, hitting him square in the stomach as he winced, "compliments of the motel." Xander eyed her for a minute before taking the rag and dabbing his forehead with it.   
  
"How did you afford the room?" he asked. Faith pulled out his wallet from her pants.   
  
"So, who'd you rip off?" Faith asked, tossing the wallet on the bed, "No way someone gets that kind of money and does it legally. There's got to be what? Six? Seven Grand there?"  
  
"Just lucky I guess," Xander said, seeming more interested in his own blood on the rag than the conversation.  
  
"Yeah, lucky to be alive. More lucky that you passed out and missed out on my fist though." Faith said.  
  
"Were you practicing your good cop all this time in prison because if you were, let me just say, not very good."  
  
"Well, you know me. Never was much with the good routine anyways," Faith said leaning against the air conditioner unit by the window, "Doesn't matter though. I got a hold of Buffy. She and Giles are on their way."  
  
Xander chuckled slightly while sliding off the bed, "You think that matters? Really, come on Faith."  
  
Faith's expression took on a more serious one, "What you did Xander. Do you know what you've done?"  
  
He stood there quietly. Looking down at the rag covered with his blood, he felt a knot in his throat. Pushing it aside, he tossed the rag to the floor and looked back up at her, "Nothing you haven't done yourself. Isn't that right Faith?"  
  
"Pretty much but you. You haven't even begun to realize it yet but you have just flushed everything that makes you who you are. Everything that made you good."  
  
"Awe, that is so touching. Do you really mean that Faith? I never knew you cared about me so much and to think all this time I was wrong. Damn, prison really does change a person," Xander said while picking up his wallet off of the bed.  
  
"Fuck you!"  
  
"Sorry Faith but not a road I want to go down again. It must be my head trauma talking but you don't seem as attractive as you use to," he said turning around.  
  
"You're not leaving this room."  
  
He stopped, a half grin on his face, "Faith, you don't have to keep this act up okay," he said turning back around, "Pretty soon you'll be back in your nice little solitary confinement with not a care in the world. You know, I almost envy you. Not knowing."  
  
"Not knowing what Xander? That you have done nothing but well, do nothing this whole time. You must've wanted me to know something? I mean, you didn't break me out of prison for nothing right? So come on Xander, here I am, enlighten me."  
  
"Why not?" he said shrugging after a moment, "Not as if I don't have any time on my hands." He looked down at his watch and couldn't help but chuckle after doing so, "I'll be damned." he tapped the broken watch before looking back up at Faith with a smile, "I guess I really don't have any time on my hands."  
  
"Well, don't worry because you'll have plenty of time right next to me in prison after what you did tonight."  
  
"Not likely," he said sitting down on the edge of the bed, "You see Faith, you don't see the world for what it really is. It's not your fault. In fact, just as I said, I almost envy you. Not knowing the truth."  
  
"Not knowing the… " Faith said trailing off as she stood up from her leaning position, "You don't have a clue how I see the world. What it's like. You envy me? Don't you dare. You can't even begin to think of what it is to be in that position."  
  
"No?" he said, a chuckle escaping his lips as he got up from his sitting position. He walked up to her, "Have you ever been in confinement?"  
  
"No, of course not. You usually get to go to the park when you're punished in prison," Faith said.  
  
"No, I'm not talking about solitary confinement. I'm talking real confinement. The kind of confinement that makes you wonder if there is anything out there that's worth saving. The kind where you can't even talk to your best friend because she doesn't even know what you are talking about?"  
  
"Well, seeing as I have no friends I'd say yeah. I can relate."  
  
A smile came across his face as he nodded. He turned around and walked a few feet before stopping in front of the TV. He grew quiet for a minute before picking up the TV guide from the top of the TV. Turning back around towards Faith, he tossed it to her as she caught it against her chest, "Ever seen the movie Memento?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Memento. Page twenty two. It comes on tomorrow night on HBO. Ever seen it?"  
  
"I-I, uh, don't think... what's this have to do with ..."  
  
"It's about a man looking for his wife's killer. Only this man has this disability. This uh, short term memory thing. It was a result from a blow to the head that he received when he walked in on his wife's attack. He wakes up in the same hotel room every morning with no knowledge of what he's doing there or what has happened. The only things he knows are the tattoo's that he gets to use as notes to remind himself of what he's found out previously."  
  
"Sounds like a freakish movie. So what?"  
  
"But that's the point. I don't know if it's freakish. I've never seen it. I've only read the summary."  
  
"Oookay, I'm not following."  
  
"You know," Xander said as he began to slowly pace, "Sometimes I wonder what would he had done if he could've never pulled it off. What if he could've never found his wife's killer because of his situation. What would he had done? Would he go insane? Would he gradually learn to live with it? How much is too much for one man to take? Going through the same thing every single day. The same doubt. The same fears," Xander said. He stopped his pacing and looked up at her, "How much? How much until it ... until it all comes to an end?"  
  
"Okay, that's the last time you ever read one of these," Faith said, tearing the TV guide in half and tossing it in the trash. "What's this all about Xander? What are you doing here?"  
  
She got no response as he just stood there silently.   
  
"Xander I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on," she said, his back now turned to her.  
  
"You can't help me. No one can," he said, suddenly starting for the door.  
  
"Oh no you don't!" Faith said out loud going up to him. She grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around to face her as his back came in contact with the door, "You can either tell me what's going on or you'll tell Buffy when she gets here. One way or the other, you're not leaving this room until you do some talking."  
  
"Oh really?" Xander said.   
  
"You're choice," Faith said, pinning him against the door as he started laughing. "Something you find funny about all of this?" she asked.  
  
"Only the fact that in what could be a matter of minutes you'll be in the same situation only it'll probably be guards doing the pinning and you won't remember a thing about any of this." Faith's grip on him tightened as his laugh became strained but not any less annoying to her, "Do you know how much I tried? How many times... how many things I did to try and make you happy? The number of times I've broke you out of prison?"  
  
"What?"   
  
"None of it mattered. None of it."  
  
"What the hell are you rambling about?" she asked, her gripe loosening on him a bit.  
  
"You just can't be helped. Sorry Faith, but you're a lost cause." A chuckle escaped his lips, "I probably should've just tried to get into your pants instead."  
  
Before she could even respond Xander leaned forward and captured her lips with his own. Momentarily stunned, she tried to pull back but it only allowed Xander to free himself from her grip. He moved his hands up to her face to get a better hold on her as he deepened the kiss. Faith felt the force of his lips upon hers. She pulled back, the back of her foot hitting the bottom of the long chester drawers behind her. Catching her balance a bit, Faith pushed him back hard, sending him backwards as he hit the door and fell to the ground.   
  
"Bastard!" she yelled. Closing the distance between them she reached down and dragged him back up by the collar. She slammed him to his left against the wall as he tried to shake the cobwebs out, "A lost cause? You haven't seen lost," Faith shouted, knocking him to the ground again. "You think you know me, huh? Well, tell me what I'm about to do," she said pulling him to his feet again before slamming him against the wall, "Tell me!" Her breathing was erratic as she knocked him to the ground again. "Tell me how well you know me now!" she said pulling him to his feet once more.  
  
The left side of his face was already starting to show signs of slight bruising and blood was showing out the corner of his mouth. Yet, he still somehow managed a smile, "What's the matter Faith? Can't..." It was all that he got out as Faith suddenly claimed his lips with her own, her hands pulling his face to hers. This time Faith deepened the kiss. Just as Faith had been a few moments before when he did the same to her, Xander was momentarily taken back by the kiss and the pain her pressure gave him but he pushed it aside as he took a hold of her as well.   
  
Faith pulled back from the kiss, grabbed a hold of his matted shirt collar and slammed him against the door. It took only a second for Faith to reclaim his lips. Her hands were roaming the front of his chest as they continued to try and devour one another. Suddenly he pushed forward, catching her off guard as he took control and shoved her up against the wall. With Faith against the wall, Xander closed the gap between them as he kissed her roughly.   
  
Then he sprung up from his bed with a start. The sun shining in on him from the outside window as he looked around at his bedroom. His face and body showing no signs of the abuse it had only moments ago. He looked at the clock that read eight after six. "Oh, that's just not fair," he said out loud.   
  
Even though his breathing was normal he could feel the intensity from his previous act with Faith. He could still taste her lips upon him. Even the coppery taste of his own blood. Everything was playing back in his head from the motel room. Then came the conversation with Faith. Her words replaying in his head. Pushing himself up and out of bed he tried freeing himself of these thoughts. He got up and went over to his chester drawer where his wallet was on top. Picking up his pants from the floor, he put them on and then retrieved his wallet. The only thing he could think of was going back. He had to finish that encounter with her in the motel. He couldn't think of anything else. The desire. The emotion. It excited him more with each passing second. With each thought he could see everything being played out in it's entirety. Him taking Faith. Yet, each time his thoughts began to play out the scenerios they always found their way back to the conversation with Faith. No matter how hard he tried to suppress them they kept creeping back up. His thoughts trailed off as he heard the front door to his apartment being opened.  
  
"Xander? Xander's it's me. It's Buffy." He looked towards his bedroom door as he heard her moving along the floor in the living room, "Xander?" she said out loud once again.  
  
Suddenly, the conversation quit playing in his head. It was as if a peace came over him. He couldn't explain it and yet didn't seem to care to either.   
  
"I'm in here Buff," he said out loud. Suddenly all of his thoughts went away while looking at the bedroom door, replaced by something else inside of him. "Come on in," he replied to the knock at the door. A smile creeping up on his face as the door to his bedroom began to open.  
  
=================================== 


	8. Deja Vu Part 8

Title: Deja Vu  
  
Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to UPN, Joss, Fox, etc....   
  
Distribution: Anywhere you want. Just let me know where.   
  
Summary: With hope all but gone Xander turns his "attention" towards one of his close friends. With only one thing on his mind. Buffy.  
  
Setting: Season 5, one day before I Was Made to Love You.   
  
Rating: Nothing worse than what was on the show.  
  
Author's Notes: Just like last chapter was all F/X this is all B/X. Only a little sprinkle of things to come towards the end. For all those who have written feedback and/or to those who actually make the effort and dedication to writing something and putting it out there for all to see, this chapter is for you.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings."  
  
-- Elie Wiesel.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Xander's bedroom  
  
6:20 A.M.  
  
New Loop  
  
"There you are," Buffy said walking into the room.   
  
"Hey," Xander said absently, while taking out a pair of pants from his chesterdrawer.  
  
"So, you ready to...uh, ready to," Buffy quickly lost track of her words when Xander began to remove the pants he had on. She was taken back when he did this so much that it took her a minute to register the fact that one should turn around in this kind of situation. Many things were going through Buffy's mind but she couldn't get a handled on any of them. Like some movie being fast forwarded in her mind. She replayed the incident in her head and soon enough she didn't even know what she was replaying. Then she glanced back and remembered.  
  
"Ready to what?" he said, putting the other pants on with her just a few feet away from him. He could feel her uncomfortablness and inwardly enjoyed every second of it, "Buff?"  
  
"Uh, ready to," she glanced out the corner of her eye towards him once again, this time to see him with pants on. Slowly she began to regain her composure as she turned and faced him, "Ready to train," she said with a forced smile, her discomfort still present from the previous moment. He answered with a smile and nod as she turned and walked out of the bedroom. The moment her back turned and she began walking out, his smile changed. Grew. Then he followed her out of the bedroom and soon out of the apartment.  
  
************************  
  
The Magic Box  
  
2:33 P.M.   
  
There's a force in Sunnydale. It's strong and it's strength never dimishes, only lies dormant. Waiting. Wanting. Knowing that it's time will come. It always does. Yet, this strength. This force. Although, strong in Sunnydale it's not excluded beyond the town's city limits. There's no town where it's absent. No city. Like a bear during deep and long winters, it too sleeps. Waiting for it's chance to be awakened. It can not be killed. Can not be permantally exstinguished. There is no vacination for it. No cure. Like thirst, it could only be quinched once awakened.   
  
Inside the town of Sunnydale at this very moment this force was awake from it's sleep. Had been awake for some time now in fact. However, not even the water that washed through him could quinch it. It was too strong. Too intense. There was only one way to quinch this thirst.   
  
Buffy.  
  
He had been sitting here for the last twenty minutes watching her as she, Willow, Tara, and Giles talked at the table in the center of the room. All during their training section this morning he couldn't take his eyes off of her. So much so that at one point Buffy even made note of his strange behavior when she said something to him and got no response. She said he was acting not himself and asked if he was okay. He had covered it up idly saying that he didn't get much sleep. Of course, this brought Buffy to ask him if he was sure he wanted to help her train today but he quickly assured her that he fine.   
  
Truth be told, he was a little tired but that was the case each morning he awoke to the same day. Why that was he didn't know and now was beyond caring. No, nothing was going to detour him from this. From her. For three hours he had trained with her. Mostly, he did the light stuff. Things that Giles or any of them could've done. Hold the bag for her while she worked up a sweat. Be her sparing partner, albeit sometimes at the expense of some soreness at her getting a little to into it. Yet, it didn't matter. He wasn't there for any of that. Most of the time he was there for companionship, only when Giles spared with her did she really take it up a notch. However, none of that mattered anymore to him. It was the farthest thing from his mind while being in that back room with her earlier this morning. In fact, he barely said any words at all. He merely watched her. Every movement she made. Every kick. Every punch. The look in her eyes. The way her thigh muscles contracted with each movement. Looking so soft. So perfect. He had to have her. Had to take her. This was far beyond a simple infafuation. It was passion. Desire. Lust.   
  
No it was more.   
  
She was beauty and he had to sample it. Had to experience it. It drove him. The very thought gave him the greatest pleasure that could only be surpassed by experiencing it first hand.   
  
He could think of nothing else. Gone was any thought of getting out of this loop he was in. {Hell, I'd given up on that a long time ago anyways} he thought. Gone was any thought of Willow and Tara, who stood just a few feet away from Buffy. They didn't matter. When they had left a few minutes later, saying goodbye on the way out, he barely even gave them a glance.   
  
Taking another swig from his bottled water, Xander leaned back against the window and watched. Dreaming up scenerios. Ways of how it would all go down. The more he thought about it, the more he found it hard to contain his thirst for it.   
  
She got up from her seat and followed Giles over to the counter. She looked over and smiled at him, he sending a slight nod with a smile back her way. Then she continued her convesation with Giles. A conversation that was drowned out by him even when it was happening only a few yards away. The only words he could hear were the ones in his head. The ones telling him the way he would have her. He could see each moment being played out. Each conversation. His mind didn't try to tell him that it wouldn't work. He knew better. Nothing could stop this from happening if he truly wanted it. Not even Buffy herself. No, he knew it was only a matter of time. It didn't matter how much because he knew he had plenty of it.   
  
{Nothing matters}  
  
Two words uttered so simply. So quickly. Yet, so true to him now. It was just as Faith had said. Nothing matters. Nothing changes. No consequences. No having to explain the next day. None of that. He could ...  
  
He chuckled to himself {Want, take, have}   
  
It was all too easy wasn't it? Looking up he watched as she talked to Giles. A laugh escaping her lips. {How can she even laugh? All that she's been through} he thought, his face taking on an annoyed expression. How anyone could laugh in her position was beyond him. Here she was, only a couple of months removed from Riley leaving her. Leaving her for ...  
  
He laughed to himself {In a way, for a vampire. Ironic eh Buff?}   
  
Ah, her great vampire lover. {Angel} Xander shook his head, an annoyed breath escaping his lips. Faith spoke of how he helped her. How he saved her. {Pfft.. the great and noble Angel. Mr. Soul boy himself} A soul. What good does a soul do if there is no tomorrow? No hope?   
  
He brought his water bottle up to his lips and finished it off, squeezing the empty container before tossing it to the floor.   
  
The door leading to the alley behind the Magic Box opened and Xander's attention was drawn to it. He watched as Anya came in carrying a box. Giles turned and immediately started helping her. Anya said something that made Giles frown before he shook it off. His sight was still fixated on Buffy though. She was fittling with a stake in her hands. He watched her turn the stake end over end. A simple act, yet he couldn't take his eyes off of her.   
  
"Xander?"   
  
His head popped up to see Anya standing in front of him, "Wha-what?"  
  
"I said, are you going to help or just sit there all day?"  
  
"Oh, uh, sit here all day," he replied, his attention going back towards Buffy.  
  
Anya frowned, "Fine, but I'm only letting you sit there because I love you." She leaned down and kissed him on the cheek, causing him to freeze up a bit. A smile came upon her face as she pulled back and then walked happily back towards Giles at one of the bookshelves. As she was walking off his hand found the spot that she had kissed. His expression changed immediately into an annoyed one. He wiped at his face as if the kiss left some recidual mark. Xander found it hard to concentrate. For a minute or two he could hardly look up. Though, he didn't have to look up to feel what he was feeling right now. He felt like, he didn't know how he felt but he couldn't stay in here anymore. He started hating being in here. He had to get out. Getting up quickly, he opened the Magic Box's front door and stepped outside. Once outside, he immediately closed it behind him and then backed up against one of the outer walls. Suddenly he found himself breathing heavily as if he'd ran a marathon.  
  
Slowly his breathing started getting under control. Yet, that feeling was still there. After a minute, he felt himself slowly move away from the wall and take a step towards the front window of the Magic Box. Leaning with his hand slightly against the wall he looked inside to see Anya dusting off a few books. The moment she turned just enough to where she was facing in his direction he felt compelled to look down. He pulled back from the window and leaned up against the wall.   
  
"What the hell is wrong with me?" he muttered to himself while closing his eyes. He stood there, back against the wall, eyes closed. Xander didn't know how long he stood there but it must've been a good ten minutes. When he opened his eyes the feeling was gone. Somehow, someway it was gone. He kept his eyes from blinking as if afraid if he did blink the feeling would sneak back upon him. His eyes slowly piered to his left, leading back inside the Magic Box. Slowly he felt himself turn around and press up against the wall. The movement inside the shop became clearer as he looked through the window. There, all the way to the back of the shop Buffy stood. He watched as she moved towards the door leading to the training room and then through it. A few seconds later she emerged. She was carrying a box as she walked up towards the counter. Once at the counter, Giles took the box from her as they began to talk. What they said didn't matter. Even if he was able to hear it wouldn't have mattered. In fact, not even the driver blaring his horn at another driver down the street tore Xander's attention away.   
  
Suddenly he pushed himself away from the window. The next second he was opening the front door and walking into the shop. When the bell rang above the door, Giles and Buffy turned towards him. He stopped and his face produced a smile. They nodded, seeing that it was only Xander and went back to what they were doing. Buffy turned her back to Xander and began walking away.   
  
{Just do it. It's simple.}  
  
Xander watched as she made her way to the back doorway leading to the training room.   
  
{Good. She's going to the training room. She'll be alone. Now's your chance}  
  
He started to follow, chancing a quick glance around the shop.  
  
{She'll be yours. It's only a matter of time. You'll win her over}  
  
Buffy walked through the door and into the training room.   
  
{And if you don't win her over. No biggie. You can take her. There's nothing stopping you}  
  
He walked in front of the counter as Giles continued to rumbuge behind it. Then, his attention turned back towards the doorway leading to the training room as he continued forward.   
  
{Are you sure you want to do this?}  
  
He felt as if he was slowing down. As if his feet were getting heavier.  
  
{Are you ready to face the consequences of what you are about to do?}  
  
{There are no consequences. Besides, you deserve this with the hell you've been put through}  
  
Slowly Xander came to a stop a few feet past the front counter. His head felt as if it was splitting open. And that feeling was back. That terrible feeling.   
  
"Xander? You alright?" Giles asked.   
  
"Huh?" Xander asked, turning his head, "Oh yeah, sorry. Just uh, not feeling all that great," he said, brushing it off while rubbing his temple.  
  
"Are you sure?"   
  
"Yeah. Uh, yeah I'll be fine," Xander said once again.  
  
Giles gave him a look before nodding. Turning around, he went back to his work.  
  
Xander shook his head as if trying to shake the cobwebs out. A second later Buffy came back out of the training room carrying a box. The moment she entered into his sight, Xander's head shot back up. She carried the box past him and laid it on the counter, "Say Xand, you wouldn't mind helping a little lady out and carry her boxes would you?"  
  
"Why anything for a little lady," he said. His demeanor rapidedly changed.   
  
"Follow me."  
  
She walked past him and he was once again under her spell. He followed her into the training room.  
  
"You can carry those boxes in the corner," she said pointing. Xander didn't want to take his eyes off of her but he allowed for a quick glance to the corner.   
  
Buffy moved to the back of the training room. There she fittled with a few things in the far corner. Slowly she bent down and starting organizing things.   
  
{Mmm... Mmm.. Mmm.. can't you just imagine. Look at that.} Xander smiled. {Can't you just taste her? Her scent. Her essence.}  
  
{My God, what are you doing? This is your friend you're talking about here. Your Buffy.}  
  
{That's right. Your Buffy. You have helped her battle the forces of evil for five years. Don't you think it's time you get a little reward?}  
  
{It's not right}  
  
{Oh come on. Just a little bit. No one has to know.}  
  
{But you'll know.}  
  
Xander felt like he was the ball inside a pinball machine. He closed his eyes, grimacing while doing so. That feeling was back.  
  
{Oh come on. You've come this close. Don't back down now}  
  
If he didn't know better, Xander could've sworn that voice seemed louder than before. Almost as if...   
  
Xander opened his eyes and couldn't help but nearly jump out of his skin. There on his right shoulder was a minature Angelus.   
  
"Oh God, I'm losing it," he said out loud.  
  
{Not quite. Though, I've got to say, you do have potential} minature Angelus said.  
  
{Don't listen to him Xander}   
  
Xander actually let out a slight squeal as he jumped at the sight of a minature Angel on his left shoulder.   
  
"Xander? What's wrong?" Buffy said turning towards his outburst.  
  
He looked up at her in a panic. Looking towards his left and then right shoulder he looked back at her as if she would take action and slay whatever the hell was happening.   
  
"Xander?" she said again, waiting for a reply.  
  
{She can't see us. We aren't even real. We are apart of your mind that you made up} they both said in unison.  
  
"Made up? I didn't make you up. There was no making up," Xander said outloud.  
  
"Uh, who are you talking to?" Buffy asked, her expression a worried one.  
  
{Go ahead. Tell her. Tell her that you were just talking to her exboyfriend and his demon on your shoulder. I'm sure she'll understand} minature Angelus said.  
  
Xander looked back and forth between the two small figures on his shoulders and then back at Buffy. He slowly broke out into an almost fake laugh, building with each passing second, "Uh, nothing it's just uh," he said stammering, "just uh, I mean't we never made up."  
  
"Never made up?"  
  
"From earlier."  
  
"Earlier?"  
  
"Yeah uh, with the training," his speech now sounding almost halfway normal, "From this morning. You know, we fought but uh, we never made up."  
  
"Let me get this straight," Buffy said looking at him questionably, "You felt you had to shriek out loud like a girl because we never made up from this morning? Because of the training?"  
  
"Yes, uh, no. Hey! I do not shriek like a girl!"  
  
{Uh, you kind of do} both figures on his shoulders said in unison.  
  
"Shut up!" Xander snapped out quickly, "Not you," he said just as fast towards Buffy. He quickly continued after receiving a look from her, "I just mean, I don't shriek. I bellow."  
  
"Bellow?" Buffy said, Xander nodding. "If you say so bellower," she said giving him a look. He smiled back at her with another nod.   
  
"Xander, if you wanted a hug you didn't have to shriek... uh, bellow," she said correcting quickly, "Out loud. All you had to do was ask."   
  
"Well, now I know," he said. Buffy moved in to give him a hug.  
  
{Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about} minature Angelus said just as Buffy's body came into contact with Xander's.  
  
Xander jerked back, "No, no, no hugs." He grabbed her hand, "Handshakes. Handshakes are way underrated in the make up category."   
  
Buffy accepted his hand shake awkardly, "Xander are you sure you're okay?"  
  
"Me?" he let out a snort, "I'm fine. How about you?"  
  
"Goood," she drawed out slowly, "Would be even better if my friends weren't acting like Drucilla."  
  
{What does that suppose to mean?} minature Angelus said, snapping out loud at her.  
  
Xander gave her a nervous laugh, "Me? Crazy? Pfft... that's silly. I'm perfectly fine."  
  
{What I wouldn't give to have a piece of that. Oh wait, I already did} minature Angelus said smiling, drawing a glare from minature Angel.  
  
Xander smiled at Buffy nervously between the two of them.  
  
"I'm serious Xander. You're acting strange. You don't seem yourself," she reached her right hand towards him, "I'm worried about you is all."  
  
Xander didn't answer her. He couldn't. His attention was drawn towards her hand. The hand that was now on his left shoulder. The same shoulder where the minature Angel had stood but a minute ago before her hand passed right through him. Out the corner of his eye, Xander saw the minature Angel on his left shoulder fall to his knees and grimace in pain. Buffy said something else but Xander didn't hear her. His attention was too focused on his left shoulder as the figure rose to it's feet a few seconds later. When the figure turned around Xander found himself having two minature Angelus on his shoulders.   
  
"Oh God," Xander muttered low.  
  
"Xander?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Uh, you know Buff. I think you're right. I'm really not feeling like myself. I think I'll just go. Maybe sleep. Yeah, sleep," he said nervously.  
  
  
  
Buffy nodded, "You need a ride back to your place?"  
  
{I thought you'd never ask} both minature Angelus' said, mischievous smiles on their faces.  
  
"No!" Xander said, responding quickly, "I'll be fine."   
  
Buffy slowly nodded her okay as Xander pointed behind him, "I've got to go. Now." He turned quickly as he walked out of the training room, leaving a bewildered Buffy standing behind him.  
  
********************************  
  
The day was threatening to end as the sun barely peaked over the horizon. Yet, Xander knew different. There was no end. It had been over five hours since he had left the Magic Shop. In that time he had been doing nothing but walking. Walking anywhere and everywhere. Where he went he didn't even care. All he knew was that walking felt like he was going somewhere and that was what mattered. Xander would've given up if he hadn't have already done so. Here, there was no giving up nor was there any hope. For the first time in his life he understood the meaning of the word purgatory. He had thought it was Mr. German's sophmore history class but it bared no contest to the here and now.   
  
And so he kept walking. Isolated. Alone. People moving past him up and down the street. None of them aware as they went about their business. None of them could help him. Xander continued down the street. Not aware of where he was going. It didn't matter anyway. No one could get out of purgatory. He felt as if he belonged here anyway after what he had done with Faith, the old man, and what he tried to do to Buffy. No he didn't deserve any help to stopping this thing.   
  
He continued down the street. Where to he didn't know. Unaware of the fact that if he would've just stopped a minute ago in front of the local flower shop he would've been one step closer to getting out of this purgatory. Yet, he continued on and so did the person coming out of the shop. Stopping only to smell the rose before the person continued down the street. A smile on the guy's face as he watched people go about their business in his new world.  
  
*********************************  
  
Xander's Apartment  
  
9:32 P.M.  
  
Xander walked down the hall to his door. He had been out wondering and somehow found his way back here. He didn't know if it was his humanity telling him to go home, clinging onto any sense of safety he could (as false as they might be) or if it was that he truly just wanted to get away from everybody else. He had been either with someone or in contact with someone all day long. He needed to get away. Away from everything that was a constant reminder of life. Here he could do that. There was no one to talk to or to hear talk. There was only peace and quiet. Nothing but peace and quiet. It was all he had left.  
  
Bringing his keys out of his pocket he slid the key into the lock and opened the door. He didn't even bother to turn on the lights as he shut the door and made his way down the couple of steps leading into his living room. Tossing his jacket onto the back of one of the chairs, Xander slung himself onto his couch. Right on top of Buffy.   
  
This woke Buffy up as she let out a yelp, Xander doing the same as he rose up just as quickly as he had fallen. He turned to face the figure frightenly. Then he stopped, "Buffy?"  
  
"What's left of me, yeah," she said bringing her near crushed legs out as she moved into a sitting position on the couch.  
  
"How did you get in here?!"  
  
"Anya. She was here when I came over. She left," Buffy said looking at one of the clocks, "a couple of hours ago."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"She said she wanted to finish up some inventory for the Magic Shop."  
  
"No, why did you come over?"  
  
"Because I was worried about you. You didn't seem yourself earlier today."  
  
Xander started fidging as he turned to his left, "I'm fine."   
  
"Fine? You acted as if you couldn't look at me earlier. At anyone for that matter." Buffy got up from the couch and moved in front of him, "Pretty much the same way you are avoiding looking at me now."  
  
Xander turned away from her again. Then after a moment he started walking towards his bedroom, "I'm fine. Just a case of heartburn. You don't have to worry about me Buffy."  
  
"Xander," she said, walking up to him and grabbing ahold of his arm, "I mean it, what's wrong? And don't give me any heartburn crap." Buffy stopped, an expression on her face, "Wait, is it Anya? Is that what this is about? Are you and Anya having troubles?"  
  
Xander let out a chuckle, "Go home Buffy. You don't know nor want to know."  
  
"Then why do you think I'm here Xander? I'm here to try and help you because I'm your friend!"  
  
"Leave. I don't want your help Buffy!" he said, walking away from her and into his bedroom. He slammed the door shut behind him. It didn't matter because something as small as a door wasn't going to stop her.   
  
She opened the door just as quickly as he shut it, "No. I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong Xander."  
  
"Do you ever take a hint? My God Buffy, this is my home. Not yours. Do you have any idea of what that means? That means I stay, you go. Simple as that. It's none of your business!"  
  
"No, wrong. It is my business. You're my business. All of you. Willow, Giles. You became my business five years ago when you decided to help me when I said I didn't need it. Didn't want it. So don't give me it's none of my business damnit because it is!"  
  
"Leave."  
  
"No. I'm not going anywhere."  
  
Xander could feel his anger mounting. His frustration. He turned and grabbed the lamp on top of his night stand and slung it back around at her. Buffy ducked as the lamp smashed behind her against the wall. She came back up wide eyed as she looked back at him.  
  
"I said get out!" he yelled.  
  
Buffy stood her ground, albeit a little more fearful of the situation, "No."  
  
Xander let out a breath as he shook his head, his backed turned to her.   
  
"Xander let me help you. Please?"   
  
For the first time he turned and faced her. He stood there for a few minutes and couldn't help but glance at the broken pieces of the lamp on the floor behind her.  
  
"Please?" she begged.  
  
After a moment he finally looked up from the broken pieces, "I can't. I don't deserve it."  
  
Buffy looked back at him questionably, "What do you mean you don't deserve it? Xander," she took a step closer towards him.  
  
"Stop it. Just stop," he said putting up his hand, "I can't okay so just stop."  
  
For the first time since Riley had left she was scared. "Xander whatever is wrong we can get through this. Let me help. We'll get through this I promise. Just let me help you."  
  
"I can't."  
  
"Why can't you damnit!" she said harder than she intended. She couldn't help it. She tried to remain calm but she couldn't. She had already lost one man in her life, she didn't plan on losing another. Whatever it was that was wrong she couldn't back down now. She wouldn't. Not again.  
  
"You want to know what's wrong? Huh? You want to know!" he said, his response triggered by her tone.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Earlier today when I was at the shop with you. When I was suppose to be training with you," he snapped it out coldly as if ashamed of the word, "I wasn't training with you. I was fucking you. Fucking you in my head. Taking you and doing with you what I pleased. Ever since you came over this morning. It was all I could think of."  
  
Buffy didn't say a word. She couldn't.   
  
"Oh, don't want to hear it now eh? Can't stand to look at me? What's wrong Buffy? I thought you wanted to help me. So come on, here I am. Help me Buffy," he said. Buffy swallowed the knot in her throat. She wanted to turn and leave but her legs wouldn't move. Not this time. Not now. Buffy looked back up at him and was about to respond when she heard him mutter those two words so simple to say yet so hard, "Help me."   
  
Buffy made her way over towards Xander's bed. She leaned down and sat on the end, reaching out her hand for Xander. Hesitantly he took a hold of it and sat down beside her. For the next hour or so he told her about everything. About the day never ending. About his visit to L.A. About his visit with Faith. He told her about the old man, unable to look at her while doing so. He let everything out. Even a few tears. Something that he was taught never to do.   
  
*********  
  
An hour later  
  
As she put the ice cream into the cups and poured the soda's into them Buffy wondered what she would've done differently in his situation. Wondered if she would've done anything differently. Just like anyone would say to such a thing, she thought she knew the answer but she really had no idea. Such is the way of many things until you experience them first hand.  
  
Putting the ice cream back into the freezer, Buffy made her way back to Xander's bedroom. "Two rootbeer floats. The drink made for Gods." Xander smiled weakly at her, "Or those who fights them," Buffy finished as she handed him one and sat back on the bed beside him with her own.  
  
"Thanks." He took a sip of his rootbeer float. Buffy watched him while sipping on her own. "This feels good. Almost normal," he said stirring the float with his straw.  
  
Buffy looked at him and it ate her up inside. She wanted to help him. She needed to help him. When he had first started telling her of his situation she found it hard to believe. Anyone would. He had then taken her into the living room and he read out all the winning lottery numbers to her just as they were being drawn. Then he had taken her outside onto his balcony and proceeded to tell her everything that was about to happen in the streets below. Needless to say she had nothing to say. She could only listen. Listen to everything he had done. Even to the parts she didn't want to. A part of her wanted to deny some of the things he had said to her. Wanted to tell him he was lying but she knew different. When you spend as much time with someone as she had with her friends you think you know when they are lying or not. More importantly though, you learn through all those times that even when you know someone or think you know them they can suprise as well as disapoint you. People do things in certain circumstances that they would never do or even think of doing in normal instances.   
  
As they sat there on his bed at this very moment, sipping on their rootbeer floats, Buffy found she had a million things roaming through her head. Yet, only one mattered right now. She wanted to help him. She needed to help him.   
  
"Maybe we can get Giles to do some research into..."  
  
"Already tried it. He didn't find anything."  
  
"Maybe ..."  
  
"Buffy," Xander said quickly. Buffy went quiet, sipping on her float just to be doing something. "Sorry, it's just... it won't work," he said quietly. Slowly he brought his float back up to his lips and took another sip through the straw.  
  
Buffy knew he didn't want to hear it but she couldn't help it. "I'm so sorry," she said, not knowing what else to say. She wanted there to be a monster that she could slay. Something. Anything. She wasn't good at words. That was what he was good at, not her. All the times he had been there for her. Helped bring her up when she was down.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Flashback  
  
The Bronze  
  
October 5th 1999  
  
"It's just, what if I can't cut it?"  
  
"Can't cut what? Slaying?"  
  
"Slaying, everything."  
  
"Buffy, this is all about fear. It's understandable, but you can't let it control you. 'Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to anger.' No wait, hold on," Xander says pausing, "Fear leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side.' Hold on, no, umm,'First you get the women, then you get the money, then you...' okay, can we forget that?"  
  
  
  
"Thanks for the Dadaist pep talk, I feel much more abstract now."  
  
"The point is, you're Buffy."  
  
"Yeah, maybe in high school I was Buffy."  
  
"And now in college you're Betty Louise?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm Betty Louise Plotnick of East Cupcake, Illinois. Or I might as well be."  
  
Xander gets up and crouches down in front of her. "Buffy, I've gone through some fairly dark times in my life, faced some scary things, among them the kitchen at 'The Fabulous Ladies Night Club.' Let me tell you something, when it's dark and I'm all alone and I'm scared or freaked out or whatever, I always think, 'What would Buffy do?' You're my hero," he says looking up at her. " Ok, sometimes when it's dark and I'm all alone I think, 'What is Buffy wearing?'"  
  
"Can that be one of those things you never, ever, tell me about?"  
  
"It's a deal," he says standing up. "Let's put this bitch in the ground! What do you say?"  
  
  
  
Buffy holds out her right hand as he helps her up.   
  
"I think I say thank you."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
As she sat on the end of his bed beside him she wished she had that perfect thing to say to cheer him up. Wished that she could do right now for him what he has done for her so many times. Her strength nor her slaying abilities could help her here. They were as good as {A rootbeer float} she mused.   
  
Buffy layed her drink on the night stand beside the bed. After finishing his off he handed the cup to her as she layed it on the stand as well. Then she turned her body so that she could face him, "Xander, we'll get through this."  
  
He smiled weakly with his head down, "No we won't. In about twenty minutes or so you won't even be here. Nor will you remember any of this. Anything I've told you."  
  
Buffy bit back on her bottom lip, fighting the tears in her eyes as she the strain behind his words.  
  
"Willow. Giles. None of you will know anything is wrong. You will all think it's just another day in Sunnydale."  
  
"That's not true. I'll know," she said trying to convince herself as much as she was him.  
  
Xander looked up at her and smiled, "No you won't but thanks. Thanks for... thanks for saying it."  
  
Buffy let out a stiff cry as looked down, hiding her face from him. She hated this. Hated not being able to do anything. Hated crying. Here she was suppose to be the one cheering him up and she was crying for him. This was not the way it was suppose to go. Though, does anything happen the way it's suppose to? The way it's planned?   
  
Xander felt so bad right now seeing her like this. He wished that she had gone when he told her to. Then she could've been spared from all of this. Yet, no matter how much pain she was going through or how much he wished to spare her from it he inwardly thanked her for doing so. For not listening to him and staying. He needed this. Her comfort. Her friendship. Her love.   
  
"Buffy," he said reaching out with his hand under her chin and pushing her eyes back up to his, "thank you."  
  
"For what? For bawling like a baby?" she asked through red eyes.  
  
"No. Thank you for... for being who you are," he said.   
  
She bit back on her bottom lip, trying to hold back more tears so near. Then she reached forward and grabbed a hold of him. They sat there and held each other. Saying with their embrace what neither could say with their words. Xander was the one to speak after a few minutes had passed, "I love you Buffy. I love all of you so much."  
  
Buffy pulled back, her head shaking, "Don't okay. Just don't. Don't you dare try and make this some goodbye speech. Don't you dare."  
  
"I'm not trying anything. Things are just what they are. I can't change that anymore than I can this day."  
  
She wasn't willing to accept that. She just wasn't. "Damnit Xander, you listen to me and you listen good. I won't let you give up."  
  
"Buff, I already have."  
  
"Then snap out of it you hear me," she said shaking him, "Snap out of it."  
  
"I wish I could but I can't. I don't have any power over..."  
  
"Yes you do," she said interrupting him, "You can fight this. You can beat it. We can beat it."  
  
"Buffy I ..."  
  
"No, you shut up and listen. We're a team. All of us. You have always been there for us. For me. If you think I'm going to just sit back and let you do nothing. Let you not fight, then you aren't the Xander Harris that I know."  
  
"But this is different. Buffy this..."  
  
"No it's not different. You were the one who brought me back. You were the one who saved me. Not the Powers that Be. Not some prophecy. You. You saved me. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. I'm not letting you go Xander. You fight this."  
  
"Buffy, I'm tired. So tired. I've been through so many of these loops that I couldn't even begin to guess how long it's been." his eyes feel once again, "What if I don't have any fight left in me. What if I don't have any... any hope?"  
  
Buffy looked back at him and couldn't say anything. She felt like she wanted to say something. Like the words were there but they wouldn't come out. So close as if being held back by a quarke that only needed to be lifted. She wanted to open it so bad but couldn't find the right way to do so. Finally, after a few moments, she looked back up with a focus and reached out her hand to his chin much in the same way he had done earlier. If she couldn't find the words she would have to fall back on what worked best for her. Taking action.   
  
He felt her hand under his chin. When he raised his head he was soon met by her eyes. Then came her lips. So sweet. So cool. He didn't know if it was because of the float from earlier or not but he didn't care. Her lips so gently placed, yet so full of meaning. After a moment had passed she pulled back slightly, her eyes looking into his, "There is always hope Xander. Always."  
  
He just sat there and stared back at her. Unable to speak. The feel of her lips still evident in his mind. Cool yet so warm. He wanted to feel her again. To feel her touch. Her friendship. Her love for him. So long had he gone without any real meaningful contact. Love.   
  
There was no lust involved. Not like before. No, this was companionship. Friendship. Love. Suddenly as if it had eluded him before, he started to remember why he was here. Here right now. In this town. In this place and time. It was because of her. He fought for her. To help her. That's why he was here. Why he is who he is. So many battles, so many pains they had been through. It felt like he could reach out and touch them they were so clear in his mind.   
  
Yet through it all there was her. Fighting for what she wanted. For what they wanted. Fighting for a better world.   
  
"You fight Xander. And when you feel like you can't fight anymore fight for me. Fight for us. All of us," Buffy said, the words sinking into him. "You hear me Xander? We'll get through this. You're not alone Xander. We'll get through this together."  
  
For the first time in a long while he didn't have to force the smile that came to his face. Buffy reached forward as they embraced. It was the last thing he felt before the flash came to take him away to another day.  
  
*****************************  
  
Giles' apartment  
  
A couple of minutes prior  
  
When he had first woken up this morning Giles felt the constraints of business and profit. The Magic Shop seemed to be in it's down time of year and with his researching Glory taking most of his time up he had little of it to actually work on ideas to getting business booming once again. However, business weighed little on his mind right now as he battled with the constraints that tied his arms behind him to the chair at this very moment.   
  
When he had came back from work earlier this evening he was knocked out. When he awoke, he was tied to the chair. After hours of endless torture here he sat. His mouth taped. His face battered and bruised. How long ago his attacker had left was unknown to Giles. His mind couldn't tell time right now. It was concentrating on his broken bones and body too much to care. All he could do was set here and wait for his aggressor/attacker to return.  
  
The door to his apartment opened. Giles looked up, grimacing in the process from pain in both of his shoulders.   
  
"Honey, I'm home," the man said walking into the apartment. "What? No, hello. No where have you been?" the man said closing the door behind him. "Sorry it took me so long but you wouldn't believe how busy it is out there. It's almost as if they have places to go. Places to be. Like they'll miss out on something if they don't get there."  
  
He let his smile grow as he looked at Giles, "How little they know huh Rupert? How little any of you know."  
  
Giles looked up at him and he could see the violence in the former watcher's eyes staring back at him. "Oh, that twinkle in your eye reminds me." Reaching inside the right side of his jacket the man pulled out the rose. "For you my dear old friend," he said tossing it onto Giles' lap.   
  
He looked down at his watch. "Oh, look at the time. Sorry Rupert but our time together seems to have ended for today. What do you say? Tomorrow. Same time. Same place," he said with a knowing smile. Giles could do nothing but sit there in pain as the flash came and took the world back to the beginning of another day. 


End file.
